She's a gooood girl

I could get hit by a car, die, and be good right now.

I went to Confession and I'm good to go, so to speak.

Yeah, I did it because yesterday marked the start of Holy Week, but also because I damn near died in the morning.

Ok, I'm being dramatic here. It was just another case of me being an idiot, nearly killing myself in the process.

Just like that time I nearly choked to death on soap suds while showering, or the time I thought hiking an abandoned cattle trail was a good idea, my stupidity nearly got me killed.

I'm currently addicted to water. I drink at least a gallon a day (I sometimes freak out about electrolyte imbalance and dying that way. I'm sure I'm capable of that). So, throughout they day, there's rarely a moment where I don't have a liter of water in my hand.

Ok, so I wake up this morning and feel the pressing need to do my nails. While I did like the mani of the weekend:

Like that injury on my thumb? A true testament to my clumsiness.

I got word of a party tomorrow and so, I decided to change up the colors.

I seriously underestimated the annoying nature of the glitter base color. It was being a real jerk, not coming off no matter how hard I scrubbed away at it with the acetone-dipped cotton ball (no matter how much I'd douse the cotton ball, it wouldn't make much of a difference).

Add to that, the fact that I was watching the food network, trying to catch the recipe. I constantly looked up to see what was going on.

All the scrubbing had me irritated... and thirsty.

I'd viciously scrub at my nails, then angrily take a huge swig of my water bottle (I bet you already know where this is heading).

Well... during one of those moments of taking the drink, I was very zoned in attacking my nail.

I grabbed my water bottle, and took a swig.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

It wasn't water.

Yep. It was the acetone.

Lucky for me, my mouth reacted quickly to the bitterness and didn't allow me to swallow too much.

I swallowed, oh yes-- remember, I was agitated and tired from the scrubbing-- but not too much.

What followed?

Me freaking out, of course!

I also vomited.

Should I call poison control?! Should I make D rush me to the ER? Wait... I'm uninsured. GREAT! How am I going to convince people I wasn't attempting suicide?

My stomach hurt for a bit... I was also sweating bullets expecting to drop dead at any second... or at least cough up blood, but neither happened.
I didn't eat anything the rest of the day... I couldn't... everything tasted bitter as heck.

Instead, I rushed on over to Confession, had the priest roll his eyes at my weaksauce sins (this always makes me wonder what the heck everyone else confesses. Seriously. I'm over here feeling bad for having severe anger issues and harming people... and he just rolls his eyes at me like "Oh, child, that's it? Don't waste my time!" He doesn't even give me a penance! Am I that awesome and innocent, or is everyone else just a horrible, horrible person?), and I was back at peace.

I'm ready to die, Acetone. Do your worst (please DON'T)!