I saw my babies today.
By "babies" I mean my Costa Rican BFFs.
Their mom was given a free laptop with built-in speakers and camera, so the first thing they did was download Skype and asked me to add them.
My heart melted.
I forgot my sadness of the past few days, my frustration from today's soccer match (it was as if someone was crushing my heart, watching that fucking game. Cristiano Ronaldo may be rich as fuck and attached to one of the most beautiful--albeit, kinda grossly skinny-- women in the world, but I genuinely felt terrible for the guy. He hustled hard the entire Cup, and to go out the way he did was upsetting), and even the ugly fuckhead living on my lip.
 |
| No longer a gross, "weeping" bump, just a gaping hole on my fatass lip. Try to hold a normal conversation with me, all while that shit's staring you in the face... |
The moment I logged onto Skype and saw the excited faces of my little munchkins (they were still in their school uniforms... it was 10PM! They had refused to change, since I hadn't seen them in their unis while I was visiting them. No Ice Queen can resist that fucking adorableness... NO ICE QUEEN in the world!), my fucking world lit up and every negative, dark, shadowy feeling disappeared.
Crazy.
Here, I avoid kids like the plague. I claim I don't want any kids, their shrill cries make me curse their parents, I fight the urge to slap the obnoxious, trouble-making ones at stores... but the moment a couple of five and ten year olds smile and wave at me like they would at Selena Gomez, I turn into a mushy girl-- a second away from melting.
Christ.
What the fuck?
Scary.
But so lovely... so lovely something so simple can brighten my day-- I return to my natural, bubbly, playful, silly, smiling self... you know... the girl I was before... everything else happened.
Hmm. Funny... but just what I needed, since these last few days the only thought haunting me has been "This summer. This summer marks 20 years. TWENTY years." (Fucking realization has been killing me for the last week or so, leaving me discombobulated and crying myself to sleep every other day. I never thought I'd still be this fucked up about something that happened so long ago... but evidently I can be fucked up for quite some time, if not forever. Some potent shit... what traumatic experiences do to you when they happen at such a tender age)
The Universe is a trip.
Crazy.
Here, I avoid kids like the plague. I claim I don't want any kids, their shrill cries make me curse their parents, I fight the urge to slap the obnoxious, trouble-making ones at stores... but the moment a couple of five and ten year olds smile and wave at me like they would at Selena Gomez, I turn into a mushy girl-- a second away from melting.
Christ.
What the fuck?
Scary.
But so lovely... so lovely something so simple can brighten my day-- I return to my natural, bubbly, playful, silly, smiling self... you know... the girl I was before... everything else happened.
Hmm. Funny... but just what I needed, since these last few days the only thought haunting me has been "This summer. This summer marks 20 years. TWENTY years." (Fucking realization has been killing me for the last week or so, leaving me discombobulated and crying myself to sleep every other day. I never thought I'd still be this fucked up about something that happened so long ago... but evidently I can be fucked up for quite some time, if not forever. Some potent shit... what traumatic experiences do to you when they happen at such a tender age)
The Universe is a trip.
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