One of my crushes became "Facebook Official" with a chick today.
"One of my crushes"... as if I have so many... well... hmmm... I do find a number of dudes cute and whatnot, but this guy was a contender... not too many "contenders" on my list.
Anyway, his girl is the complete opposite of me-- Swedish... ice-blue eyes (not gonna lie, I'm jealous of that)... natural redhead (can't say I'm jealous of that shit right there. I'm very happy as a brunette)... short (and here I thought Swedish chicks were tall as fuck).
I find this is... quite the theme in my life. Well, no, not really. When a dude I dig finally goes for a girl, and I wind up the loser (always the case. ALWAYS the case. I'm not even joking. If there's ever a choice to be made, I lose. Simple as that), I notice it goes one of two ways:
1. The winner looks just like me, but with minor adjustments (maybe she's a little bit shorter... or thinner... that sort of shit).
2. The winner looks the complete opposite of me (blonde, blue eyes, rail thin... stupid... etc).
To this day, I don't know which sucks more.
Number one is pretty much a slap in the face and says "Yo, AnoMALIE, your personality SUCKS!" or just "You know... if you were just a little bit thinner... you'd be a winner..."
Number two says "INADEQUATE! Umm... hello?! You're like... SO PLAIN! You're not even blonde!"
Number one leaves me upset... but mainly angry with the guy... and usually just screaming "WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH ME?! HUH?! FUUUUUUCK YOUUUU, GUY!"
Number two is more of a self-loathing thing. Why the fuck am I so Mexican? Plain-ass black eyes and brown hair... fucking Vegas is loaded with that shit! Nobody wants that! That sort of deal.
Alas, I'm not upset with this new turn of events. It's expected... I seem to be the person with the worst case of fear of commitment... I avoid relationships like the plague. I get an A+ in that department. Everyone else is normal and eventually falls into some sort of committed relationship.
If I got upset each time one of my crushes got a girlfriend, I'd be floating facedown in some roadside ditch by now (not to say that I haven't thought about it... but you know, a guy is never THAT important anyway. Kill myself over a dude? AHAHAHAHA! Riiight. Sure. Maybe some day. I'll add it to my bucket list).
Oh well. Hopefully this catches on and even the fucking creepers finally leave me the fuck alone.
Go out there, men... there's a sea of women willing to love you... or at least fuck you. And you'll find her... because every dude I've ever liked has found someone way prettier, cooler, and easier than me... and these are guys I TRY to impress... so... dudes who already dig me will definitely find something better than me.
If you don't mind, I'm going to go drink a chocolate protein shake now... and quite possibly punch a hole through my wall. Cool.
"One of my crushes"... as if I have so many... well... hmmm... I do find a number of dudes cute and whatnot, but this guy was a contender... not too many "contenders" on my list.
Anyway, his girl is the complete opposite of me-- Swedish... ice-blue eyes (not gonna lie, I'm jealous of that)... natural redhead (can't say I'm jealous of that shit right there. I'm very happy as a brunette)... short (and here I thought Swedish chicks were tall as fuck).
I find this is... quite the theme in my life. Well, no, not really. When a dude I dig finally goes for a girl, and I wind up the loser (always the case. ALWAYS the case. I'm not even joking. If there's ever a choice to be made, I lose. Simple as that), I notice it goes one of two ways:
1. The winner looks just like me, but with minor adjustments (maybe she's a little bit shorter... or thinner... that sort of shit).
2. The winner looks the complete opposite of me (blonde, blue eyes, rail thin... stupid... etc).
To this day, I don't know which sucks more.
Number one is pretty much a slap in the face and says "Yo, AnoMALIE, your personality SUCKS!" or just "You know... if you were just a little bit thinner... you'd be a winner..."
Number two says "INADEQUATE! Umm... hello?! You're like... SO PLAIN! You're not even blonde!"
Number one leaves me upset... but mainly angry with the guy... and usually just screaming "WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH ME?! HUH?! FUUUUUUCK YOUUUU, GUY!"
Number two is more of a self-loathing thing. Why the fuck am I so Mexican? Plain-ass black eyes and brown hair... fucking Vegas is loaded with that shit! Nobody wants that! That sort of deal.
Alas, I'm not upset with this new turn of events. It's expected... I seem to be the person with the worst case of fear of commitment... I avoid relationships like the plague. I get an A+ in that department. Everyone else is normal and eventually falls into some sort of committed relationship.
If I got upset each time one of my crushes got a girlfriend, I'd be floating facedown in some roadside ditch by now (not to say that I haven't thought about it... but you know, a guy is never THAT important anyway. Kill myself over a dude? AHAHAHAHA! Riiight. Sure. Maybe some day. I'll add it to my bucket list).
Oh well. Hopefully this catches on and even the fucking creepers finally leave me the fuck alone.
Go out there, men... there's a sea of women willing to love you... or at least fuck you. And you'll find her... because every dude I've ever liked has found someone way prettier, cooler, and easier than me... and these are guys I TRY to impress... so... dudes who already dig me will definitely find something better than me.
If you don't mind, I'm going to go drink a chocolate protein shake now... and quite possibly punch a hole through my wall. Cool.
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