Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Verano, veranito!

Summer tiiiiime!

This means:
1. BERRIES!
Mmmm... lord knows I'm a happy camper when I have a variety of berries to choose from. Blackberries, blueberries (blueberries! blueberries!), raspberries, and though they're not legitimate "berries," strawberries! I eat breakfast and wriggle with joy each morning as I sit at the table.
Mornings are the fucking shit during berry season.
2. CHERRIES!
Enough said.
No, no... let's emphasize it some more: CHERRIES!
3. Sports!
A. Tennis. My boy Nadal (BEEEEAST!)... and a ton of other cute dudes... I mean, most of them ARE cute... besides Murray, that poor guy... wouldn't touch that.
B. Futbol. Need I say more? I nearly suffered a stroke this morning when, in the middle of the Portuguese national anthem, the power went out at my house. I straight up looked just like Amelie's neighbor when Amelie plays that trick on him... where she unplugs his TV during vital parts of the soccer match and he flips the fuck out. THAT was me. I was ready to cut a motherfucker at 8:45 in the morning. Not the best way to start the day, but it certainly improved! Today's matches were by far the best of the tournament. About fucking time.
C. Summer Olympics!! I pretty much disappear from civilization for the duration of this magical event. My total adoration.
4. Mexico!
Though I'm no longer positive on my departure date... I still look forward to Mexico summers... if even for two weeks. The violence is escalating as the election approaches... so... this is a toss up... but I'd still love to head out there. I'm still trying to weasel my way to Hometown... I just need to get a little crazier to get the courage to hop on the next bus to Hometown, and VAMONOS!
5. Boys.
Did I say boys? Damn right. Boys are dope. I like boys.
6. Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale!!
I no longer have my partner in crime... D and I hit this shit up like vultures to a fresh carcass each time. But I don't care she's now unavailable. I now have the skill to subdue an unruly bitch all by myself if she ever tries to slap a bra out of my hand. Plus, my tits are smaller, so I no longer have to wrestle with the stupid strippers and delusional lactating mothers who think they can squeeze into a 36 DD. Now I can rummage through the more normal sizes... hopefully without getting some rude bitch into a chokehold while the cops get there to separate us.
7. Bright Colors!
I know I tend to favor black... but come on, I'm Mexican... as much as I hate perpetuating stereotypes, we're just drawn to bright colors... and I'm no exception.
If the brights aren't on my clothing, then they're definitely on my nails.
Focusing...
NOT focusing...
Oh yeah, my nails!
... my eyebrows are hella thick...
and I really prefer D's room over mine..
Wait, what was I talking about?
Shit, my hair is messy...
That bracelet is awesome.
Oh yeah, summer time is also GREAT tank top weather.
Bonus: MOVIES!
A. Spiderman! That new kid... I've had a mini nerd-crush on him. I blame it on his enormous mouth. It's charming.
B. BATMAN! I... can't... properly articulate... my excitement. Really... is there anything more exciting than this shit? I'm stoked.

I love you, Summer Time. You're the shit!

2 comments:

Native Minnow said...

Damn. I miss having someone to tag along to the Victoria Secret sales with.

AnoMALIE said...

You ended that sentence with a preposition.
Turrrible English, blood, just turrrrible!
JK
Why don't you just creep around by yourself and ask pretty girls to "try on" the panties/bras over their clothes because you're "shopping for your anniversary gift" to the "wife." That shit always works... haha