Damn, Girl!

Dear Andy-Roddick-Lookin-Gym-Dude:

It has been a couple of months... and I've been pretty patient with you. But I finally had enough of you today. I've had enough of your ego... and your incessant stares... that give me the vibe that maybe you think I like you. 

To solve this problem, I'll answer you now: NO, I DON'T like your attention. AT ALL. I'm as interested in you as I am interested in acquiring tetanus. Walk by my area as many fucking times as you'd like... but I promise I will not steal a glimpse of you any of the ten times you cross in front of me... even when you plop your ass next to me. There's a pompous, haughty air about you that I just can't stand... for shit.

Just so we're clear, saying "Damn, girl!" when I load up my squat weight isn't going to do much for your case... especially once you open your mouth to joke about volunteering to spot me. It's not like I'm squatting in the hundreds, I can handle it, big boy.

Sure, I smile nervously, but if I did what I really wanted to do, I fear my membership would be revoked. 

Yes, you look like Andy Roddick... if he could look any more like a meerkat... but uh... I'm more into the "Rafa Nadal" look. Sorry.

Now please, go bother some other chick on the other side of the room.

Thanks.

AnoMALIE

P.S. I really, really, REALLY don't appreciate you grunting so loudly when you bench press right next to me. You're benching fifteen pounds lighter than me... man up, for fucks sake!

People wonder why I prefer working out with gay dudes. There is your answer.
I go to the gym to get shit done and then come home and sleep... but this guy has been irritating me for the last couple of months. He just stares at me and then proceeds to miserably attempt, but fail, to out-do me at lifting. He's like... in his mid 30s and looks like an ex-quarterback for his high school football team who is now trying to re-capture his youth by hooking up with a younger chick... and somehow I've become his target. Apparently I'm the easiest one to hunt in the room.
I don't understand what the fuck is up with that... but I assure you, pretty soon I'm going to have some wack story over how I lost my gym membership and now have to serve a couple of months of community service.

(Mooney... if you only knew the mess you started after showing your fandom for the older man who loves jumping in Zumba. He too struts in front of me... and it's... ok, it's funny. He flexes... A LOT when he has to walk by me. I swear he thinks I dig him or something. It's quite comical... I think he misses your attention ;) COME BACK! hahaha)