Raf-isms and Brontë

A couple of Raf-isms:

1) After picking him from Passenger Pick-up at the airport:

Rafa: Oh man! I haven't had sushi since I got back from Japan. We gotta hit up Yama ASAP.
Me: Damn... that was like... what? Almost a month ago?
Rafa: Ha. Yeah. But I ate like a beast in Japan, boahhh! (His stint in the Army got him saying this instead of "boy." He's somehow under the impression that he is some sort of southern "boahhh")
Me: I bet.
Rafa: I fuckin' ate whale sushi when I was out there!
Me: Ugh. Didn't you feel bad? Most of them are endangered, come on now!
Rafa: Well... I mean... it's illegal and everything... but it's supposedly for "research purposes," and somehow it ended up in my fuckin' stomach.

That animal.

2) I'm sitting in my room, getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner, when Rafa walks in and watches a little of the movie I'm playing ("Love Actually," a MUST for this time of the year. I think that badboahhh's gonna be watched another two times before Christmas. Too many memories, dude).
Rafa: What the hell is this gay shit?
Me: LOVE ACTUALLY! Idiot. And it's NOT gay!
Rafa: Look at that little fag... yeah, right, like he can run around in the airport like that. I'd clothesline that little bastard... BAM!
Me: ... what did he ever do to you?
Rafa: He disrespected airport security!

That guy... he can make me laugh.
Pobrecito has been in his room all day, reading and writing essays.
It's as if he isn't even here...
although he did make his presence known in the early morning... when he broke into my room to shake my head and scream "Wake up, ya lazy bum!" in my ear... at 8 in the morning. He's like a fucking hungry toddler... that I can punch and ask to "Shut the fuck up!" without going to jail.

To get even, I made my sister and Mom tease him along with me about a certain female friend of his... his fellow Social Chair partner. She made her profile photo on FB be of her hugging my brother... with a suspicious caption, and I just took that shit and ran with it.
Me: So... why didn't you bring Erica to Thanksgiving dinner? I wanna meet her...
Mom: Oh... who's Erica?
Sister: Let me show you! (busts out laptop) She's cute! And look at that... she lovessss him.
Mom: Mijo! Why didn't you tell me? You guys are cute together!
Brother: SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! She has a boyfriend! And she's a little annoying, actually... she's really annoying.
Me: You're the other man?! How could you?!
I then move behind Mom. I'm flicking him off with both hands and mouthing these next words off, like a menacing cholo... Raf-ism to the max.
Me: Ha-ha muthafuckaaaa!

I learned from the best.

And now, because I'm in the mood to laugh, something I found via Mooney... and I had to share... because it made me giggle:

Wuthering Heights is one of my all-time favorite books. The moment I saw this, I laughed. I remember reading this book in 11th grade, and the whole time wondering "WTF? WHY WOULD YOU STAY WITH HEATHCLIFF?!" But after a few chapters, I wanted Heathcliff's wild-ass... bad. Who the fuck wants a sickly pale dude... when you have a buff, barbaric, violent man with dark features? Mmmmm. That book fucked me up real nice.

So yes, I too have a Heathcliff complex, Mooney. Thanks for sharing! :)