Friday, May 13, 2011

Tumblin' Dice

Since I was such a fucking ray of sunshine in my last post, AND I'm missing a post thanks to yesterday's technical difficulties (and also because it goes along with today's date, Friday the 13th. OoOooO!), I'll add another short entry:

My phone isn't too fancy.
Yes, I can get on-line and comment on people's FB pages, but I can't upload photos or watch videos.
I get notifications and all that junk, too.
But the only things it's really good for is Tweeting (and boy, do I abuse the privilege).
I can get apps... but it costs me a pretty penny.
I can get games... but that costs me an even more ridiculous amount of pennies (obviously my feelings towards this is "Fuck you, I ain't getting any games then, assholes! I'll just... play catch with my fucking phone whenever conversations suck or some other awkward situation arises").

My phone DID come with one game.
No, not solitaire, or other form of card game.
No, not some sort of "Bounce Out"-styled game.
Nope... not even a fucking updated version of "snake."
My phone came with a game called "Tumbling Dice."
What's that? Two 3D dice I can make tumble around--as if they're trapped in my phone-- and watch as they come to a stop.

Rafa: What the hell is this? Some App for an impromptu game of Craps?
Me: I don't know... how the hell do you play Craps?

Rafa tried showing me how to play Craps, but my attention span sucks... especially when a boring ass game that only crack addicts play in the street corners of Detroit is involved (yeah, too much Chappelle's Show).
I've been playing a different game with it which, if you ask me, is akin to a bastard Ouija Board... ok, more like the Magic 8 Ball.
Whenever I'm bored, I'll bust out my phone and I'll ask yes or no questions. If the final number is six or less, the answer is "no." The closer the number is to two, the bigger "HELL NO!" that it is.
Numbers seven to twelve mean "yes." Twelve is "YES, it's fucking OBVIOUS! Why'd you even ask that stupid question?" while seven is a "Meh... I guess you could consider it a 'yes'" (in my head, my possessions are always mean to me).
The reason I associate it with a ouija board instead of a regular M8B, is because of the creepy freakin' nature of the responses.
The phone's like Lassie... you know, that whole "What is it girl? Timmy? Timmy's stuck in the well? TIMMY'S STUCK IN THE WELL?!" thing. It eggs me on to ask more elaborate questions.

The answers it has given me have been... about 98 percent correct.
I'll start off with lame questions... then it'll get all intense. If I then ask a question that concerns the future... I get freaked out, 'cause I don't want that shit to happen.
Gah! Imbecile! Why'd you even ask that if you didn't want to hear the answer? The phone has spoken. It's final. Resistance is futile!

Anyway, I hadn't played that game in over six months... no, more. I last played it in Chicago, where everything the phone responded came out to be true.

So I put that power away... until today.
This time around, I started with asking questions concerning the past. It asserted every time.
I then proceeded to ask questions about the future... and I didn't like most of the answers. I asked the questions that bugged me the most a couple of times, at random times, and I'd get the same response (of course, varying in degree... except for two questions, those came out with the same intensity... which made me stop playing, because I'm a chicken).

Point of this post? To say I have a creepy-ass application that must be possessed or something.
AT&T... is this how you keep people on your network? Black magic?
I'm getting a new phone as soon as October rolls around... and I'm definitely leaving that bastard app alone until then (I can't erase it off my phone. WHAT KIND OF JOKE IS THIS?!).

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