DENY!

Dudes I really do like ignore me as if it were their job, but middle eastern dudes... those guys, they don't hesitate to send me messages out of the blue.
My favorite so far is the one I received this afternoon:
i am shy to ask u ,r u engaged ! 
if not i hope we can be friend and know each other 
i hope to hear from u 
and hope u not get me wrong e 
so so so sorry
That had me laughing for a good minute (I particularly love the exclamation point at the end of "r u engaged !" I close my eyes and I can just see this cat act that out. Too funny). The message was sent to me on a languages-related place where I'm learning Portuguese and Catalan, and refreshing my French. How the hell my answer to that question is even relevant to the shit I'm on the site to do is beyond me, but whatever, being that I'm nice, I wrote back:
hahaha. No, I am not engaged. Don't worry about it, I wasn't offended by the question
Then he wrote back.
maybe my question creazy ..lol 
coz if i see my gf or my wife talk with any other men i get so creazy 
even i not have no gf or wife 
some time people get me wrong ,, 
i just ask and take permition from u 
so can u tell me about u and ask me if u want 
Wow.

Of course I only get the fucking crazy guys hitting on me... of course.
Craziest thing of all is Alo married one of those crazy guys.

Now, still staying in synch with the subject of dudes and the internet: Facebook.
I'm encountering a problem which seems to be escalating in severity. Well... I shouldn't put it like that. The problem is more of a nuisance, since my life isn't at jeopardy or anything like that, so I should ease up on the theatrics.
The problem is the fact that everyone and their damn grandmother is getting a FB account... these people are Hometown people.
It's really frustrating, especially since I've turned down three requests from Hometown dudes this week (starting Sunday). That is WAY too much for a town of like... 200.
It bugs me. A lot. I leave my Mexico shit in Mexico. I don't want them to have the ability to rummage through my photos, see what I talk about, or see my friends.
Damn, AnoMALIE, aren't you a bitch.
It's not even like that, Captain. Well, it kind of is... but I have to be.
Small town folk talk MAAAAAAD shit. They'll talk shit about me even when I don't give them reason... I can only imagine what will occur if I let them in on a tiny piece of my world.
I just think of them seeing my occasional scathing rants I leave as updates, and I get a little panicked.

Then they place me in the predicament of accepting them or denying their ass. Either choice is WRONG. I accept them, and they'll forever have shit on me. I deny them, and they'll forever talk shit about what a stuck up cunt I am.
Then I rationalize: Ok, so... if in real life I...
hug you... ACCEPT.
kiss you... DUH!
would have/have had a drink with you... ACCEPT.
play video games with you... ACCEPT.
joke with you... ACCEPT.
was invited to your wedding... I'll mull it over another week.
shake your hand then walk to the opposite side of the room... DENY.
shake your hand then walk back to my room... that's a big FUCK YOU, while I press DENY.
walk past you, while uttering a "hi." Yeah, that's a DENY.
walk past you and act like you don't exists... why the FUCK did you want to add me, retard? That deserves a "WTF?" message before the DENY, then pressing the "don't know this guy" link where FB no longer allows him to contact me.

So... with these Hometown boys...
I take a deep breath, wave at the computer screen, and press "IGNORE"... with my eyes closed.
Then I laugh and flick off the computer screen.