Freakin' garbage

It appears Dad has joined forces with Mom to make the "Cuss-Free AnoMALIE 2011" campaign.

I was sitting at the dinner table yesterday, attempting to add avocado to my tortilla soup, when I grew agitated by the skin of the avocado. The piece of shit would crumble when I'd be in the process of peeling it off the (very creamy) fruit. It was extremely frustrating to peel because I'd always have to go back and pick off tiny pieces of skin that would refuse to come off. It was a fragile, crumbling piece of shit (see, I still get aggravated just thinking back to it).
Once I'd had enough, I raised my voice and screamed at the avocado that I was crushing with my left hand (because I scream at and beat inanimate objects when I'm angry).
Me: This... (fucking!) avocado is fffff(UCKING!!)reakin' (SHIT!!!) GARBAGE!
Dad: Watch your mouth! Aren't you ashamed of talking like a vulgar cantinera (bartender) when you're around your father?
Me: I DIDN'T CUSS! That's me making an actual effort to keep from cussing. I called it "garbage!"
Mom: I TOLD you you should start watching your mouth! You don't even feel when you drop curse words anymore!
Me: I SAID "FREAKIN' GARBAGE!!" (...I think... right?) That's not vulgar at all!

I sat there getting lectured by both parents over how perfect I'd be if I could only erase the curse words from my vocabulary.
Me: It's not like I curse around children. I don't even talk! I keep the cussing around my friends and nuclear family... I don't even cuss around my aunts or cousins... well, most of the time. That's who I AM!
Mom: Well, I understand the cussing... if used under different conditions. Wouldn't you prefer to be like your father (because Mom cusses her freakin' heart out herself!) and be known as someone who ONLY cusses when they're furious?
Me: I'm fine with being known as the girl who punches and kicks walls when she's pissed. MMA fighters get paid for that shit.
Dad: MAAAAN! YOUR MOUTH!

So, I'm really debating whether or not to even speak anymore.
No manchen. I'm a good girl... with a less-than-ideal mouth... but I only let that out when I'm at ease with my company. I hate being fake with people... and that's exactly what I'd be if I started watching my mouth at all times.
It's BULLSHIT, MOTHERFUCKERS!