Sticking to the marriage theme going on here (and since it's the early afternoon and I doubt this will give me nightmares later on), I give you my reason NUMBER ONE for refusing, vehemently, to get tied down:
Seriously... how fucking hard is it to OPEN THE GODDAMN BAG (THAT IS ALREADY OPENED) FROM THE CORRECT, ZIPLOCKED END?!
My dad can be such an animal. It's like I live with a fuckin' racoon... that I can't beat with a broom each time he rummages through my shit and destroys the bags. Yes, he's Mexican, but he knows how to read English... he has lived here for 41 years. I think I'd get the hang of Arabic if I lived in Iran or Syria for 41 years.
People may argue "But not all men are like that," but fuck it... knowing me and my luck, I'll be stuck with the animal who just... uses his mouth to rip shit open.
Living with men... get the fuck outta here (even if they're not like my dad, my experience with living with guys has never been pleasant. The month spent with Sister in Spain had me living with two boys... and both were gross in their own way. The hairy Italian boy would use Sister's loofa and leave his pubes as evidence... and the other guy... that one... he was special. He was a hairy Mexican-Indian mix. He'd shave his entire body and never clean up after himself. Hair would be all over the toilet, the sink, floor... it was a mess. And that was still acceptable. What BUGGED me was how he'd release his load every morning in the shower... and NEVER clean up after himself. I understand it's a necessity to some people, and what better place than the shower, where you can clean up whatever mess you may leave... but not this guy. I'd have to decide: Do I want to run into wet cum... or dry cum today? Nothing like going in to shower in the morning, to grab the shower handle and feel hardened cum. That was nice. Or the time I bent down to grab the soap and realized my ass touched the wet cum on the shower wall... that was REAL nice. He did it EVERY. DAY. Even when he'd hear me scream "AH! COME ON, MAN!" every single day... although, putting it that way, I may understand where the misunderstanding began. Get a better vocabulary, AnoMALIE).
Now that I'm talking about my dad, let me move on to his latest shenanigan:
My folks are going on a ten day cruise in two weeks.
It's the first time for both. Mom didn't want to go, she pouted for a good week after she found out Dad purchased the tickets without her consent (while telling her "Well, SOMEONE'S going with me, whether it's you or someone else. I'm going to be on that boat!"). Mom's argument is "NO ONE MAKES ME DO WHAT I DON'T WANT TO DO! And being on a boat is something I just KNOW I'm going to HATE!" and since Pops laid it on her the way he did, Mom was like "Shit, if I let this man go on his own, God knows if he'll even come back alive. He can't do shit on his own without getting taken advantage of."
So Mom is going for my father's own safety (or so she likes to claim).
Dad invited me... but seeing how magnificently I get along with the man... I turned that shit down without giving it a second thought.
1. I don't want to be responsible for whatever he decides to share. He has a tendency to be SO racist... even against his own kind. I fear I'll jump into the ocean the moment he says something TOO embarrassing.
2. My dad eats like an animal. Case and point being that photo above.
3. Dad is the gassiest man I know. No. Really. He is. That shit rivals chemical warfare.
And
4. I'm going NO WHERE near volcanos... I hear they do bad things to girls like me. PASS!
Married life... gross.
 |
| I love how "resealable package" is legible and STILL disregarded. |
My dad can be such an animal. It's like I live with a fuckin' racoon... that I can't beat with a broom each time he rummages through my shit and destroys the bags. Yes, he's Mexican, but he knows how to read English... he has lived here for 41 years. I think I'd get the hang of Arabic if I lived in Iran or Syria for 41 years.
People may argue "But not all men are like that," but fuck it... knowing me and my luck, I'll be stuck with the animal who just... uses his mouth to rip shit open.
Living with men... get the fuck outta here (even if they're not like my dad, my experience with living with guys has never been pleasant. The month spent with Sister in Spain had me living with two boys... and both were gross in their own way. The hairy Italian boy would use Sister's loofa and leave his pubes as evidence... and the other guy... that one... he was special. He was a hairy Mexican-Indian mix. He'd shave his entire body and never clean up after himself. Hair would be all over the toilet, the sink, floor... it was a mess. And that was still acceptable. What BUGGED me was how he'd release his load every morning in the shower... and NEVER clean up after himself. I understand it's a necessity to some people, and what better place than the shower, where you can clean up whatever mess you may leave... but not this guy. I'd have to decide: Do I want to run into wet cum... or dry cum today? Nothing like going in to shower in the morning, to grab the shower handle and feel hardened cum. That was nice. Or the time I bent down to grab the soap and realized my ass touched the wet cum on the shower wall... that was REAL nice. He did it EVERY. DAY. Even when he'd hear me scream "AH! COME ON, MAN!" every single day... although, putting it that way, I may understand where the misunderstanding began. Get a better vocabulary, AnoMALIE).
Now that I'm talking about my dad, let me move on to his latest shenanigan:
My folks are going on a ten day cruise in two weeks.
It's the first time for both. Mom didn't want to go, she pouted for a good week after she found out Dad purchased the tickets without her consent (while telling her "Well, SOMEONE'S going with me, whether it's you or someone else. I'm going to be on that boat!"). Mom's argument is "NO ONE MAKES ME DO WHAT I DON'T WANT TO DO! And being on a boat is something I just KNOW I'm going to HATE!" and since Pops laid it on her the way he did, Mom was like "Shit, if I let this man go on his own, God knows if he'll even come back alive. He can't do shit on his own without getting taken advantage of."
So Mom is going for my father's own safety (or so she likes to claim).
Dad invited me... but seeing how magnificently I get along with the man... I turned that shit down without giving it a second thought.
1. I don't want to be responsible for whatever he decides to share. He has a tendency to be SO racist... even against his own kind. I fear I'll jump into the ocean the moment he says something TOO embarrassing.
2. My dad eats like an animal. Case and point being that photo above.
3. Dad is the gassiest man I know. No. Really. He is. That shit rivals chemical warfare.
And
4. I'm going NO WHERE near volcanos... I hear they do bad things to girls like me. PASS!
Married life... gross.
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