I thought she was going to grill meat or something, but instead, she just told me
Shakira broke up with her boyfriend!
Me: The dude she was dating for so long? Son of Ex-Argentinian President? Weren't they engaged or something?
Mom: Yep. They broke up.
(Moment of silence where we just stare at each other)
Me: ... ok?
Mom: Yep.
Me: ... bummer?
Mom: Yep.
I think she brought it up because recently, I've really taken to signing along to Shakira's "No," especially the part where she says "Espero que no esperes que te espere después de mis 26," which translates to "I hope you don't hope that I wait for you until I'm 26" (but since Spanish is SO much cooler than English, the wordplay doesn't translate). Anyway, each time this song goes on the radio, I sing that part and then frown.
Me: THAT'S ME IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS!
Family member unlucky enough to be riding with me: Ha-ha!!
However, Shakira was waiting on a real person... I'm just reminded of Boyfriends Past who've fucked me up... and I'm GETTING TO THAT FUCKING AGE! I think of it and I feel suffocated. How gross!
Off topic, and on to Rafa:
Lately, I've really taken to texting back and forth with Rafa. It's weird... it's like we actually act like siblings now.
Anyway, we've been talking about his relationship with girls. One girl in particular captures his attention. And from what he tells me, this girl really digs him. Today, he texted me a photo of some brownies she baked for him.
Me: Ask her out, for fucks sake!
Rafa: Be all lame and stupid and say "hey, do you wanna be my girlfriend?" Hell nah!
Me: No need to be so lame. But let her know you like her.
Me: But don't tackle her or anything.
(Back when he first started showing his crush on Alo, we were all around 12-15, and we'd still play tag. One day, when he was "it," and Alo was running for base to be "safe," he lunged at her and tackled her. She took a nasty fall on the not-so-soft sand. She fell on her knees, and she was wearing shorts. She started to bleed, which made her cry. We were all like "YOU FUCKING ANIMAL!" and he felt like shit for a couple of days)
Rafa: I'm trying to find the right time.
Me: Does she at least know you have a thing for her, or are you being all naco like Dad?
Rafa: You want me to gush over her brownies or something?
Me: You're grabbing that girl in a headlock and giving her nuggies, aren't you?
Rafa: YEEEEEEEEE niggaaaa!
Me: Don't be a pussy. She's going to find herself another guy who's uglier and dumber than you. Try to feel good after that.
Rafa: I just have to be sure.
I don't understand that shit. This girl goes out of her way to let him know she likes him (who the fuck bakes a guy brownies out of the blue all because she hears him talk about his elementary school addiction to the damn things?!), she's doing everything in her power to catch his attention, all she needs to say is "YO! RAFA! I like YOU! ASK ME OUT!!!!" AND STILL he hesitates.
I understand the trepidation if he wouldn't like the chick, but he does. Yes, he's still recovering form the Alo-marriage-heartbreak thing, but come on... when the opportunity to move on presents itself, why not take it? She likes you, you like her, what the hell, yo?
That shit drives me bananas (I'm one to talk... I turn into a mute when in the presence of a dude I dig... but then again, if I know he likes me, I'm cool with being straightforward... so I don't understand why Rafa is being so freakin' lame and wrecking his chances like that. Idiot).
To end on a happy note:
What doesn't bug me about boys? Their sense of humor kills me.
 |
| "... oh, he's coming." |
... and I used to think honey bears were cute.
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