Saturday, January 29, 2011

Napkins

Fuck... my condition isn't getting any better. I'm now throwing up at the sight of food.
Exactly why I don't fuck around. I'm paranoid enough without having to worry about unwanted pregnancies.

In slightly funny news: I have a thing where I don't mind telling dudes what I think if I find something attractive about them (unless it's Darcy or anyone of that status. I don't say shit around those guys). I do it matter-of-factly, without any intention of hooking up... I just tell it like it is (whereas any compliment I pay a guy I do like, it goes horribly wrong with my attempts to cover up my real attraction. "You have lovely dimples... not that I like dimples... dimples are gross... have you seen how they get with age? Those straight lines down the cheeks... Ugh... Oh man... not that YOURS will get like that. I'm sorry. I think yours will be lovely forever... not that I think of you in like... 'forever' terms... oh my God... I'll shut up now. Bye")... but discreetly.
I'm known for scribbling compliments on napkins to my servers... as I'm about to leave... kind of like a hit and run.
"Wow! Your eyes are amazing! :)" is the more popular one.
I don't do it in hopes of getting lucky or any of that shit. I don't compliment the dude then wink at him, or proceed to touch him, I just share information... but never shit like my name and especially not my number.

Leads me to last night.
I was out catching up with some middle school friends when I did the whole "you have dreamy eyes" thing to my server... 'cause he did.
Next thing I know, he's friending me on Facebook.
O... k...

I don't have the heart to say "Whoa... this is a one time thing, bro. I just think you have gorgeous eyes and I wanted to pay you the compliment... but it's not like I'm DTF or even DTCAM (down to catch a movie)." So now I have a friend with pretty eyes who I've only seen once in my life.

Needless to say, I'm done with scribbling shit on napkins... and then paying with my fucking credit card (I'm retarded. I know).

2 comments:

Kelley said...

Well.. just think of how you must have brightened his day :) It meant enough to him to seek you out, even if you're in no way interested.. that should make you feel a little good.

AnoMALIE said...

it is nice... I just feel a tad bit silly for not being as slick as I thought I was... hahaha Not very "Amelie-ish" of me, she never got caught doing her good deeds.