Leap Year!

I received this e-mail today from Astrology.com (so what if I find that shit entertaining):

Dear AnoMALIE,
It's February 29 … that's right, 2008 has an extra day! So-called 'leap' years occur every four years, as a way of getting the solar calendar to sync up with our numeric one.


Ancient lore has it that in on Leap Year Day, a lady could propose to any man without fear of social rejection or retribution. You might not want to put your sweetie on the spot just yet, but if you are looking to take a flying leap and risk your heart to get what you want, you'll have no regrets if you act in the next month.

So, Chase, should I go ahead and ask Mr. Darcy to marry me today?
Hahaha... (NO! I'm not that stupid)

I've always loved February 29th...
If only I were born in 1984... I would have been turning 6 years old today... instead of those stupid 23 tomorrow.
:[

Mooney... I ALWAYS think of your brother on this day... haha. Good times, good times.
:]

This just in...

I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(And handing me giant chocolate coins will only strengthen my resistance...)

Hissy-fit

In my original plans, I was supposed to be in London on the evening of February 26th...
My brother was a fucking procrastinator, ruined my birthday plans... so I'm stuck at home until the 10th of March.
Then this happens.

Coincidence?
I think not.

I'm glad to know planet Earth loves me in such a way, that when my plans don't fall through... it throws a hissy-fit right along with me.

That being said,
I better not make any more plans and then not follow through with them...
bad things happen when AnoMALIE breaks off plans...

Thanks...

So glad I found this on Youtube...
At least it'll keep my mind from getting too sad over turning a year older in a couple of days (Noooooooooo!!)

Cute, it's what we AIM for

Ever since I purchased my tickets for Spain, Mom's been bugging me about how we're going to stay in contact (I'm leaving for a month... she's acting like I'm leaving for a year).
I brought up the idea of making her an AOL screen name so she can talk to us (TravelinDin and me. I'm not schizo over here) via AIM.
We have yet to come up with a proper name for her, and I brought that to the attention of TravelinDin as I talked to her this afternoon.

Me [1:06 P.M.]: i told her "como quiere que diga su screen name?"
Me [1:06 P.M.]: y dijo
Me [1:06 P.M.]: "Algo muy chingon!"
Me [1:06 P.M.]: hahaha
TravelinDin [1:06 P.M.]: hahahahahahahaha
Me [1:06 P.M.]: dumb lady
TravelinDin [1:06 P.M.]: lmao!
TravelinDin [1:06 P.M.]: "la lady chingona"
TravelinDin [1:06 P.M.]: hahahahahaha
TravelinDin [1:07 P.M.]: ChiNgoNaLaDy
Me [1:07 P.M.]: lol
Me [1:07 P.M.]: I'll bring that to her attention
TravelinDin [1:07 P.M.]: ChiNgoNaLaDy090960
TravelinDin [1:07 P.M.]: lmao
TravelinDin [1:07 P.M.]: then her social security number at the end too
Me [1:07 P.M.]: lol
Me [1:07 P.M.]: lmao
TravelinDin [1:08 P.M.]: my neighbors must think im crazy...i have my window open...and im laughing like an idiot
Me [1:08 P.M.]: "no no, asi tan grosera no"
TravelinDin [1:08 P.M.]: lol
Me [1:08 P.M.]: "estamos en cuaresma"
TravelinDin [1:08 P.M.]: lol
Me [1:08 P.M.]: "Voy escojer un nombre muy celestial"
Me [1:08 P.M.]: ok, RBD
TravelinDin [1:08 P.M.]: lmao
TravelinDin [1:08 P.M.]: LaMoNja69
TravelinDin [1:08 P.M.]: lmao
Me [1:08 P.M.]: lol
Me [1:09 P.M.]: hahaha

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how TravelinDin and I have been entertaining ourselves for the past 18 years (no, not coming up with different AOL screen names. We've only been doing that for 8 years).
I miss you, monkeyface!

Spite

Yesterday I experienced another first in my life, and like so many "firsts," it was unpleasant... probably the most unpleasant thing I've gone through lately... more so than the green tortillas fiasco from earlier this month (I mean, the tortilla bag did explicitly mention the use of spinach and "herbs," it was my fault for being so damn optimistic believing such a blend would come together masterfully to produce one awesome, unbelievably healthy tortilla).
This time, it made me upset because:
1) It happened right after I had some really tasty pizza.
2) It interrupted my PBS time!
3) IT CAME IN THE FORM OF CHOCOLATE!!

Yes... someone decided to fuck around with CHOCOLATE and thus... has made me... sort of weary of it from now on.

Ok, so it was a couple of days after Valentine's Day and Chase was kind enough to accompany me on my Duffle Bag Search to Target.
We noticed ALL Valentine's candy was market 90% off (?!?!!) so we made a bee-line for the area.
We purchased some really cute... sort of "angry" chocolate aptly named "Sweetest Revenge," that had some witty stuff... like chocolate band-aids... chocolates with bitter slogans etc.
So I went for the three bars of chocolate that were named "Vengeance: taste the dark side, dark chocolate," "Malice: Savor the taste of sweet revenge, milk chocolate," and "Spite: nibble your way to sweet revenge, spicy chocolate."
Oooo! Spicy Chocolate? Is that like... with cinnamon or something?

I hadn't opened the box... I was sort of just letting it sit there, in all its bitter glory, until yesterday when I was in the mood for tasting this... "Spicy Chocolate."
I popped a small piece in as I sat to watch my beloved PBS Masterpiece Theater part 3 of "Pride and Prejudice" (I'm now madly in love with Colin Firth... hot man, who cares if he's 25 years older than me).
At first... it was a shock...
Holy cow! It's like... cayenne pepper!!!
Then I was a little smitten...
Mmmm... how can hot and sweet make such an interesting flavor? Yumm... lemmy eat half the bar...
not even half-way through, I was absolutely sick.
Get this shit out of my mouth!!!!!!!!!

I started freaking once I noticed my gag reflex was acting up... then the world started to spin a little... then I knew I wasn't going to hold up.
I ran to the kitchen (come on now, I didn't want to miss any part of this last section of Pride and Prejudice... especially now that the resolution was eminent, I had been watching this shit for three weeks straight, two hours at a time just for that part!).
Hey Mom... ever tasted chocolate with chile in it?
I tried making Mom taste the chocolate... but she's too wise.
No... and I don't want to.
Ok, it's going in the trash.
Wait...
(Why does she do that? Each time we mention something's going in the trash, she can't stand the thought and that ends up being the ultimate temptation for her. Weirdo)
I'm gonna barf!
Ok... throw it away.
I started drinking water... washing my mouth out... but I just couldn't hold it in.

I was so angry because of the pizza thing.
I've vomited three times after eating pizza before... in all cases, I find myself loathing the damn thing for years because it brings back traumatic my-head's-in-the-toilet memories.
Do you know how much it sucks to hate pizza?

The stupid taste of the spicy chocolate wouldn't leave... and now I had... well, vomit to worry about.
I brushed my teeth... a lot... with tons of mouth wash... then I drank some more water... then I tried to forget about the experience as I watched the rest of my PBS while feeling sorry for msyelf (which I had to catch the rerun at 1 in the morning because of the parts I missed with this whole spicy chocolate saga).

In my life, I've had the misfortune of tasting some very horrific things:
1) A fly (stupid accident involving a small hose and a game I played with Older Brother in Mexico)
2) Half a cockroach (it was traumatizing! It somehow got stuck in my quesadilla back when we lived in the ghetto... I didn't see it stuck in the cheese, I bit into my food... felt a crunch, looked at my food, then panicked and puked after seeing half of the cockroach staring back at me--I ate the front end-- I didn't eat quesadillas for years)
3) Month old curdled milk (ACCIDENTALLY! I was about 10. The damn store--once again, in the ghetto-- hadn't changed the gallon, we didn't notice it when we purchased the gallon in a hurry... I didn't notice as I drank straight out the gallon... then I cried upon getting the after-taste... and then seeing the state the milk was in the gallon. I was traumatized into checking expiration dates from that moment forward. I'm pretty OCD about expiration dates now... I also don't drink out of the gallon as much)
4) Tripe (Ok, so people actually enjoy this stuff in their menudo. I, however, HATE it. The texture of the thing is awful).

Spicy Chocolate has officially bumped Tripe from the "Gag as I even think about it" spot.

How dare they destroy chocolate like that?

Spiteful in-fucking-deed!

Je suis un cheval!

Mom and I are sitting, exasperated, at church while everyone's exiting as the priest is up at the altar baptizing some "young adults."
The priest told the congregation not to leave, but you know, who listens to a priest?
It's 8:40 PM... WAYYY past normal mass hours, but we're still stuck in the building (it's so hard to keep my cool in there lately... although the man's pretty cool and funny, I don't like sitting in church until 8:30 PM when it's only supposed to last until 8 PM. Exciting Saturday nights I lead, huh?).

Rather than exit the church, I take a seat next to mom (I follow directions, so what?).
Next to mom is my friend "Sunny"'s mom and Sunny's nephew. The kid (I think he's 2 or 3) is sitting there... acting like... a dog. He pants, stick his tongue out... shakes his "tail," and all that good stuff (he'd refrain from barking because his grandma would shoot him death-stares with any slight noise coming from him). Mom's equally bored as I am, so she decides to strike up a conversation with the boy.
Mom: So, do you have a puppy at home?
BoyPuppy: ...No...
BoyPuppy's Grandma: No, this kid thinks he's a dog...
Mom: Oh.
BoyPuppy's Grandma: I get angry because he'll act like this everywhere we go! Then Sunny gets mad at me because she's tells me "Mom! Leave him alone! Don't you know all little kids try and act like their favorite animals?!"
Mom: (laughs) Yeah, it's true... at least he chose a small, fluffy animal. My eyes over here (i.e. ME) thought she was a horse when she was a kid.
(EMBARRASSING! Thanks for sharing, Mom!)
Mom: And around that same time, my brother-in-law was more upset because his son thought he was a turtle.

In my defense! I blame it all on the Maya the Bee and David the Gnome (part of the namesake of my Henry David Thoreau the Gnome that travels with me everywhere, very a la Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain, seen here and here) cartoons my relatives would force me to watch as a means to placate me (Ok, so I wasn't SO forced to watch. I'd chose those cartoons over things like Eureka's Castle... Eureka scared the shit out of me with those flexible horns of hers). They made anthropomorphism seem normal.
You can't blame me for having an overactive imagination...
AND my cousin thought he was a NINJA turtle, ok... not some sort of... boring pet turtle. Big difference!

God, those were the days...

Strap Yourself

Last week I laughed so hard while telling a story to my cousin, that I started to cry uncontrollably.

Now that I think back to it... it wasn't all that funny... but since I hadn't thought about the story in a while, and the fact that it was brought up out of the blue, just made me lose it.
Seeing as how many of us are in a need for some kind of a laugh (I'm in the midst of a mild freak-out as I think that I turn a year older in exactly a week. No! No! No!), I'll retell it now, with the added bonus of not only describing the scene, but actually showing you (I found the pictures, Chase! Haha).

So, my Pops isn't very well known for being a fantastic, know-it-all father. His own dad made some horrible mistakes while raising him (Mom told me a story I had never heard concerning my dad's childhood that same day we mentioned The Story That Made Me Laugh Hysterically... and it immediately made me frown, almost cry, really. It's one of the saddest stories I've heard, so if I re-told it, it would defeat the purpose of this being a funny, happy post), so you can't blame Dad for not knowing exactly what to do with his own offsping (his efforts are appreciated, however).

It was the summer of '87, and Mom had just acquired a "professional" camera from my dad's best friend. She was so ecstatic about it, she would go around snapping pictures of everything and had a tendency to forget anything else she had to do that day.
Well, that summer we went to visit my Mom's (now deceased) brother in Oakland.
He was the epitome of the perfect father... perfect sibling... just, perfect man.
Since his wife worked, he was in charge of taking care of the kids, and he was great at it.
Well, he decided it would be a great idea to take us all to "Great America" since we Vegas kiddies didn't have such a thing.
We rode rides (well, the ones my two-year-old ass could), ran around, all that good stuff. Mom was busy with the camera, thinking it would be a good idea to have the two men taking care of the children for the day while she snapped away with her beloved camera.
Cute idea, right?
Well, I guess that "professional" camera is also good at erasing memories... or just giving people really bad judgement... kind of like vodka.
The day turned out to be like some sort of sitcom episode where they have Dad A, the responsible, perfect daddy, and Dad B, the dad that... sort of has no clue, out and about in a theme park.
My dad was Dad B.... to the point where Dad A had to start taking care of us because Dad B was... bad (he gave it a good try... but with a spaz-tastic three year old son who loved to run all over the g'damn place... and a bitchy, cry-baby, I-hate-strangers!-Don't-even-look-at-me! two year old daughter, he was bound to give up... screw it if any one of us, or both of us, were later found dead, floating face-down in a ditch five miles away).

Anyway, let's fast forward to 2002... I think it was '02.
Brother came back to Vegas for some sort of holiday weekend that the army decided to give him, and since we were very emotional at that point, we were going through a phase of "let's look at old family albums!"
Well... we stumbled upon the Great America summer pictures... and I caught on to this shot:
Something looked off... aside from my messed up bangs (a couple of days before that shot, I had taken a pair of scissors to the bangs... trying to give myself a haircut... so I had to spend that trip looking like Chucky with my messed up, minute bangs).
Look at that! The seat-belt for the plane was just like the ones on the old Jeep... the ones you just click on your lap...
Then I looked at my brother's photo: Me: Mom... why is Older Brother wearing a neck brace?
Mom: What?
Me: That's... not...
(looks at my cousin's seat-belt PROPERLY strapped to his body)
Me: Oh my God! My dad wrapped the seat belt around Older Brother's neck!!
Older Brother: What?! Let me see!
(His face at this point is priceless... he looks appalled... sad... in disbelief... but also with the urge to laugh his ass off)
TravelinDin: Let me see!!

So we all sit around the photo album and take a glimpse...
The laughther lasted a good ten minutes... to the point where our stomachs hurt.
We asked my dad what he was thinking... and he said he couldn't remember...
Then we laughed some more... wondering what all the people present at the ride would think as my cousin and Older Brother's plane would pass by.
"OH MY GOD! That kid's seat belt is wrapped around his neck!!"
And why did the guy operating the ride allow that?!
What if there really was an accident?
Did they think a three year old boy was suicidal?
Why didn't they question the father what the hell he was trying to pull?

Man, so many thoughts... but we laughed with all of them.
Poor bro... he felt like crap for a while... but we eventually made him crack up.

I'm sure he still has that one lingering question though:
Why was my father trying to kill me?

j/k, we know he loves us in his strange way.

Para Llorar, fifth and final volume!

In honor of it being Friday, here is my final (yeah!) installment of my
List of SAD Spanish Songs

Te Voy A Perder – Alejandro Fernández
"No, no te vayas, aun quedan palabras... mil frases del alma y entre ellas no estaba el adiós… espera, por dios."
"Falta besarte más, acariciarte, además de mil cosas que no son hermosas sin ti. No te puedes ir."
(Don't get the color scheme? You will... [think of T.G.I.F.'s marquee] anyway, this guy is telling the girl that she can't leave him because there so much left to do. It's a lovely, pleading song. And Alejandro makes me sigh.)

*Tengo Ganas – Alejandro Fernández
"Tengo ganas de acostarme con la fe de tu mirada. Y que el tiempo se detenga si es que me haces el amor. Tengo gangas de esperarte por el parque una mañana. Tengo ganas de atender a tu mas dulce petición."
"Tengo gangas de inventarle un mandamiento a mis pecados… tengo ganas de ser libre amarrándome a tus pies."
"Tengo ganas de entenderte cuando nadie te hace caso y nadie te acompaña. Tengo ganas de que te des cuenta que este amor secreto es solo para ti."
"Tengo ganas de que tengas ganas de tenerme a mi."
(Yet again, Alejandro Fernandez. In this case, he's singing about unrequited love. He wants her to want him like he wants her... if that makes sense. He says it sweetly... and that makes me sad. Who wouldn't want him?!)

**Tragos Amargos – Ramon Ayala
"Clavado en este rincón, como tu clavaste a mi corazón. Estos tragos que tomo yo, son pura tristeza, y son mi dolor."
"Te fuiste no se porque… yo se que me querías, y se que me adorabas… por si acaso quieres regresar, te voy a esperar."
"Tragos de amargo licor, que no me hacen olvidar. Y me siento como un cobarde, que hasta me pongo a llorar."
(Yeee-hawwwwww! If there's a scream in English equivalent to what this makes me feel, it's that. This guy is basically crying his ass off as he drinks in a cantina. Why is he drinking and crying in a cantina? 'cause his lady left him. He claims not to know why [hmm... maybe it was the drinking?] but says he'll sit and wait for her. Anthem for anyone who gets left by his/her significant other, and now all he/she is doing is drinking at a cantina... what? Americans don't do that? Damn, you're missing out.)

Tu Cárcel – Los Bukis (original) or Enanitos Verdes (pretty fucking rad)
"Te vas amor… si así lo quieres ¿que puedo yo hacer? Tu vanidad no te deja entender que en la pobreza se sabe querer."
"Quiero llorar y me destroza que pienses así, y mas que ahora me quede sin ti… me duele lo que tu vas a sufrir. Pero, recuerda, nadie es perfecto y tu lo veras. Mas de mil cosas mejores tendrás, pero cariño sincero- jamás."
"Vete olvidando de esto que hoy dejas y que cambiaras por la aventura, que tu ya veras, será tu cárcel y nunca saldrás."
(Love it with either group. It's about a dude who gets dumped by his chick for the most frivolous reason: money. He's poor, she wants more, so as she's leaving, he's telling her "Alright, do it. I feel sorry for you, since time will show that you may acquire thousands of things, but never true love. Forget about me, and everything you're leaving behind... for what you'll see will turn out to be the prison you'll never get out of!" Hell yeah, you tell that gold-digger, player!)

Un Desengaño - Intocable
"Un desengaño no es morir, sabrás, porque mi vida es toda tuya."
"Estoy contento, la verdad, con tu franqueza al explicar que llegue tarde a tu amor."
"La vida es corta y al final sabrás que si te quieren ya ganaste."
"Si tu cariño se acabo estoy tranquilo corazón, al fin que nunca comenzó."
"Ya de mi parte no hay rencores porque mi vida es toda tuya."
"Estoy consciente de lo que haces, pero mi vida es toda tuya."
(Song tries to cheer you up when you're bummed... but it just makes you more depressed. Story of a self-sacrificing guy who after a disillusion, tells the girl that he's cool as long as she is. He thanks her for letting him know he's too late to get her, because in the end, the relationship never took-off. And why will he be cool? Because regardless, he belongs to her. Gee, good advice for the rest of us disillusioned souls who aren't nearly as self-sacrificing, dude.)

**Usted Se Me Llevó La Vida – Alexandre Pires
"Usted se me llevó la vida, y el alma entera. Y se ha clavado aquí en mis huesos con esta angustia y esta pena. Usted no sabe que se siente perder. No sabe que se siente caer y caer en un abismo profundo y sin fe."
"Usted no sabe lo importante que fue. No sabe que su ausencia fue un trago de hiel que se ha quedado profundo en mi piel."
"Usted no sabe lo que es el amor, y el miedo que causa la desolación. Usted no sabe que daño causo, como a destrozado a este corazón que tan solo palpitaba con el sonido de su voz."
"Usted es fría, y su maldad le hiela el alma… usted lleno mi vida, toda de dolor."
(There was a time when I couldn't hear this song, because like "Que Lloro," I'd cry-- I mean, the song came in the footsteps of when I found out Altar Boy got that one slut pregnant. This Brazilian man's accent is fantastic. Anyway, another disillusioned person, telling the girl that she took his life [not to mention his dignity if he's going around crying everywhere] when she said goodbye. He accuses her of being a coldhearted... person. What makes me sad in this song, is how he refers to her in the proper "usted" form... as in, the form you use with strangers when speaking Spanish. So, technically, she's now a stranger to him... yeah... deep!)

Volveré Junto A Ti – Laura Pausini
"Volveré junto a ti, a pesar de mi orgullo. Volveré porque se que no puedo elegir. Recordando ahora días de otra latitud. Frecuentando sitios donde tú estarás. Repitiendo gestos y palabras que perdimos. Volveré junto a ti como cuando me fui."
"Tu dime si estas dispuesto a intentar de nuevo con migo un largo camino. Si aun eres tú, si ahora soy yo... como una canción sincera y nueva. Tu dime si esta, si puedo encontrar nuestro pasado en tu mirar."
"Volveré porque en ti, queda parte de mi. Al respirar el aire limpio de tranquilidad… al reencontrar tus manos fuertes otra vez… y no sentirme siempre frágil como ayer."
"Ya no puedo elegir, volveré junto a ti."
(Tsk-tsk-tsk! A girl with no self-respect! But why do I love it so much? She's telling the guy she's going to go back to him, disregarding her pride, because she's in no position to choose. I see this as the anthem of women who get beaten by their husbands... run away for a while, then come back "because of the kids." Pshh... sad song indeed)

Volverte a amar – Alejandra Guzmán
"Voy de prisa, siempre en contra de el reloj. Todo lo que viví nunca fue para mi y aunque duele aceptarlo, es así."
(Amen, sister!! "Everything that I lived, never was meant for me... and while it hurts to admit it, that's how it is." Oh yes... oh yes.)

*Vuelve – Ricky Martin
"Algo me dice que ya no volverás. Estoy seguro que esta vez no habrá marcha atrás. Después de todo fui yo a decirte que no. Sabes bien que no es cierto, estoy muriendo por dentro. Ahora es que me doy cuenta que sin ti no soy nada. Eh perdido las fuerzas, eh perdido las ganas. Eh intentado encontrarte en otras personas... no es igual, no es lo mismo, no separa un abismo."
"Vuelve, que sin ti la vida se me va. Vuelve, que me falta el aire si tu no estas. Vuelve, nadie ocupara tu lugar."
"Sobra tanto espacio si no estas, no paso un minuto sin pensar, sin ti la vida lentamente se me va."
"Algo me dice ya no sirve de nada tantas noches en vela aferrado a mi almohada. Si pudiera tan solo regresar un momento. Ahora es que te comprendo, ahora es cuando te pierdo."
(He's begging his girl [guy?] to come back, because he feels like he can't breathe, live without her. He realizes this all too late... she's gone. Boo! Not fair!)

**¿Y Como Es El? – José Luís Perales
"Mirándote a los ojos juraría que tienes algo nuevo que contarme. Empieza ya mujer, no tengas miedo… quizá para mañana sea tarde."
" ¿Y como es el? ¿En que lugar se enamoro de ti? ¿De donde es? ¿A que dedica el tiempo libre?"
"Pregúntale porque ha robado un trozo de mi vida. Es un ladrón que me ha robado todo."
"El te estará esperando para amarte, y yo estaré celoso de perderte."
"Sonríete, que no sospeche que haz llorado, y déjame."
(Without one knowing the true reason the songwriter composed this, one would assume it's about a woman leaving her lover... and how he doesn't protest, just tells her it's cool because she's going to be happy. He just asks her a couple of questions regarding this new man: How is he? Where did he fall in love with you? Where's is he from? What does he do in his free-time? Ask him why he's stolen a piece of my life... he's a thief who has stolen everything of mine." She cries during this meeting, and he tells her to wipe her face so her now-boyfriend doesn't suspect she cried. Awww! Right? What a great ex-boyfriend! So damn altruistic! Well, this song is actually about a man and his daughter. His reaction to her telling him she's getting married! That right there, brings tears to my eyes. So fucking cute and sad! I'm glad I don't have kids.)

And here's a bonus:
Yo No Nací Para Amar – Juan Gabriel
(This song is probably the saddest EVER created... EVER. I relate... especially with the Nydia Rojas version... it's kinda... the story of my life... especially now that a good number of girls I grew up with are getting married and/or having babies. Not cool.)

I hope no person ever asks me to give them sad song titles...
This was exhausting... and it left me feeling so bummed out.

Para Llorar, Vol. 4

In honor of getting thoroughly "checked out" by a high school "thug" (Chase and I referred to him as BLAsian for the rest of the day... I bet you can't guess why) while having a nice "Buffalo Wild Wings catch up" lunch with my buddy Chase, I give you Part 4 of my
List of SAD Spanish Songs
(You know the drill)

Pero Me Acuerdo De Ti – Christina Aguilera
"Ahora que ya mi vida se encuentra normal… que tengo en casa quien sueña con verme llegar. Ahora puedo decir que me encuentro de pie, ahora que me va muy bien."
"Ahora que con el tiempo logre superar aquel amor que por poco me llega a matar. Ahora ya no hay más dolor. Ahora vuelvo a ser yo… pero me acuerdo de ti, y otra vez pierdo la calma. Pero me acuerdo de ti y se me desgarra el alma. Pero me acuerdo de ti y se borra mi sonrisa. Pero me acuerdo de ti y mi mundo se hace trisas."
"Ahora que mi futuro comienza a brillar… ahora que me han devuelto la seguridad. Ahora ya no hay mas dolor, ahora al fin vuelvo a ser yo… pero me acuerdo de ti."
(I chose blue and "gold" because those were my high school colors. I know, I'm witty, no need to say it. Haha, maybe I should add "modest" to that list. Anyway, on with the song: I love it, because once again, I'm like this. I take a LONG time to get over a guy... and I mean LONNNNNNG time. I tend to be ok after a while, but of course, out of the blue, I'll remember the douche bag and get all upset. That's what this song's about. The chick FINALLY has her shit straight, everything's going fine and dandy in life, but BAM! She suddenly thinks/remembers her ex and everything comes crashing down. Woe. Is. Me.)

*Que Hago Yo - Ha*Ash
"Entraste como un rayo de luz, como un aire encantador. Liberaste con tu hechizo a mi recluso corazón. Tu dulzura corrió por mis venas, creí en tu intención. No pensé que era una mentira, o un engaño, tu amor."
"Se muy bien que harás en sus brazos, pero dime, ¿que hago yo?"
"¿Que hago con mis labios?, si me ruegan tus besos. ¿Que hago con mis manos? cuando suplican tu regreso. ¿Que hago con mis noches? ¿Que hago con mis días? ¿Que hago con tu esencia?, que se aferra a la mía. Dime que hago yo."
(This song always manages to bum me out. It's about a girl, who is seeing a guy who is taken... she knows it and all... she kind of got into it knowing he was taken, but now, she's left to wonder "WTF do I do with all this? I love you..." so basically, she can't handle it anymore... and she's bummed. Makes me feel for the poor girl [that last lyric I have on there always saddens me. "What do I do with my lips, if they beg for your kisses? What do I do with my hands, when they plead for your return? What do I do with my nights, my days? What do I do with your essence, which grasps onto mine?"]. Also, the girls who sing this have awesome vocal ranges... their mom taught them to yodel as kids, so it's never a waste of time to listen to them)

***Que Lloro – Sin Bandera
"Quédate un momento así, no mires hacia a mi que no podré aguantar si clavas tu mirada que me hiela el cuerpo; me a pasado antes, que no puedo hablar."
"Tal vez pienses que estoy loco, y es verdad un poco, tengo que aceptar. Pero si no te explico lo que siento dentro no vas a entender cuando me veas llorar."
"Nunca me sentí tan solo como cuando ayer de pronto lo entendí mientras callabas. La vida me dijo a gritos que nunca te tuve, y nunca te perdí… y me explicaba que el amor es una cosa que se da de pronto en forma natural lleno de fuego. Si lo forzas se marchita, sin tener principio llega su final."
"Ahora tal vez lo puedas entender que si me tocas se quema mi piel. Ahora tal vez lo puedas entender, y no te vuelvas si no quieres ver que lloro por ti. Que lloro sin ti. Que ya lo entendí, que no eres para mi… y lloro."
(Whoooa! This song is in my ALL TIME top 3. It has had the most special meaning to me since May 6th, 2004. I was lame enough to cry with it each time I heard it on the radio... to the point where I'd have to switch stations if it ever started to play. The meaning of the song? The guy finally understands that the chick he's loved since... pshh, I don't know, ever? Well, that she isn't meant for him. Just... the lyrics in Spanish... they... ughh, they sting. Nunca me senti tan solo como cuando ayer de pronto lo entendi mientras callabas?? God! That is so fucking true! Anyway, so the guy is getting the courage to finally tell the girl "Leave now, and don't turn back, 'cause you'll see me crying if you do," even at one point telling her to not even look at him as he talks, because that just makes him freeze up. SAD stuff.)

Rió Rebelde – Julio Iglesias
"Tire tu pañuelo al rió para mirarlo como se hundía. Era el último recuerdo de tu cariño que yo tenia. Se fue hiendo despacito, como tu amor, pero el rió hundía. A la playa al fin me lo volverá, pero yo se bien que nunca jamas podré ser feliz sin tus alegrías."
"Te recordare en mi soledad, en el nido aquel que quedo sin luz cuando comprendí que ya no eras mía."
(What's this?! Julio Iglesias makes it in my top list again? Well, yes. Anyway, yet again! A man realizes that the girl he was with is no longer his! I find it romantic and sort of crushing, since it paints a lovely scene in my head. He's sitting at the edge of a river, and he throws a handkerchief in the "wild" river... it's the last keepsake of the girl which still remains in his possession. He then sits there and watches as it sinks in the water... sinking like her love for him ::sad face::. I guess I probably find this sadder than regular folks since I tend to do that kind of shit when in Mexico... I'll sit by the endge of the river and throw sticks/stones... whatever... into it. I just love doing that kind of stuff whenever I'm upset. Just walk to the river... relax... and ponder things while seeing the water flow right on by. I'm sure if I ever took anything with me that belonged to an ex, I'd probably chuck it in the river as well... then stare at it as it sinks... with a tear slowly running down my very disillusioned face. Ha.)

Si La Ves – Franco De Vita
"Dile que yo estoy muy bien (aunque yo se muy bien que no), que nunca eh estado mejor (miente un poco, a mi favor). Si piensa que tal vez me muero porque ya no esta, ¡que va! Dile que al final de todo (no sigas ya mintiendo), se lo voy agradecer… aunque pensándolo bien, mejor dile que ya no me vez. Que me eh perdido y que no voy a regresar. Y dile también, que aunque me llame no contestare… si la vez."
"Si la vez dile que ya no espero su llamada y que ya no me despierto en plena madrugada. Y que ya no la recuerdo y que ya no me hace falta. Dile que ya estoy curado, que lo nuestro ya es pasado."
(This one makes me sad because the poor guy... well... he's freaking lying. He's telling his buddy, who is still cool with his ex-girlfriend, that next time he sees her to tell her he's doing fantastic--never better, that he no longer thinks of her, he doesn't wait for her call at night anymore, that she's coo-coo if she thinks he's going to die without her... etc. Then he takes it all back and tells his buddy "You know what, just tell her you don't see me anymore... that I'm lost... you know... only if you see her." That's a man for you. Good boy!)

**Si No Te Hubieras Ido – Marco Antonio Solís
"Te extraño mas que nunca y no se que hacer. Despierto y te recuerdo al amanecer."
"Espera otro día por vivir sin ti. El espejo no miente, me veo tan diferente… me haces falta tu."
"La gente pasa y pasa siempre tan igual. El ritmo de la vida me parece mal. Era tan diferente cuando estabas tú. Si que era diferente cuando estabas tu."
"No hay nada más difícil que vivir sin ti. Sufriendo en la espera de verte llegar. El frió de mi cuerpo pregunta por ti, y no se donde estas. Si no te hubieras ido seria tan feliz."
(There's a reason they used this song on "Y Tu Mama Tambien." It's freaking great! But thanks to that movie, each time I hear this song, I can't help but think of Diego Luna, Gael Garcia-Bernal, and that one chick dancing together. Ok, the meaning of the song: A guy is lamenting over how crappy life is without his girl. He mentions how everything seems so off-beat to him now, and how life is so difficult to live without her there by his side to make him happy. Pobre amigo.)

**Siempre Hace Frió - Selena
"Este corazón, que aun te quiere, ya esta muriendo tarde con tarde, como se muere la luz del día."
"Ya no puedo mas, tú me haces falta. Vuelve conmigo, alma de mi alma, vidita mía.”
"¿Adonde estas? ¿Adonde estas? Mátame cielo, trágame tierra, quiero morirme si no vuelve mas."
"Ya podrás tener el mundo entero... y entre tus manos toda la dicha y otro cariño mejor que el mió... pero ya veras que todo acaba. Y al verte solo como hoy me siento, siempre hace frió."
(Yey! Selena made it on my list! This song I could SO get twizzted to! Anyone, really, it's a Ranchera! Those always make people want to drink and cry along to the song. Anyway, the title says it all "It's always cold." In this case, it's a girl completely disillusioned with... life. Sure, she got like that thanks to heartbreak, but she does mention in the end that you can have it all-- a love better than hers, all the money in the world-- but in the end, everything ends... you'll be left alone in the cold. All because a girl's love was unrequited. Pitty. Selena's voice in this track, though, is MOST DEF not a pitty! She makes it so damn worth it!)

***Siempre Me Quedara – Bebe
" ¿Como decir que me partes en mi las esquinitas de mis huesos? Que han caído las esquemas de mi vida, ahora que todo era perfecto… y algo mas que eso, me sorbiste el ceso y me desciende el peso de este cuerpecito mió que se ha convertido en rió."
"Me cuesta abrir los ojos, y lo hago poco a poco, no sea que aun te encuentres cerca. Me guardo tu recuerdo como el mejor secreto, que dulce fue tenerte dentro. Hay un trozo de luz en esta oscuridad para prestarme calma. El tiempo todo calma, la tempestad y la calma."
"Siempre me quedara la voz suave del mar, volver a respirar, la lluvia que caerá sobre este cuerpo y mojara la flor que crece en mí… y volver a reír. Y cada día un instante volver a pensar en ti."
(Dagger tot he heart. This is my go-to song if I ever want to get depressed. Her voice just... it makes me cry. The point of the song is that, unlike previous songs, the memory of the guy makes the girl happy. The memory of having him once in her life will always remain with her, and that, my friends, makes her happy. I'll admit it... I do think like this sometimes)

*Tal Vez - Ricky Martin
"Tal vez será que esta historia ya tiene final. No se porque, hoy te siento tan distante de mi. Y a pesar que lo intento de nuevo, tal vez llegue tarde, ya no hay nada que hacer. Y no puedo creer que el tiempo que hemos tenido tal vez se nos gasto."
"Tal vez fui yo quien no te dio una noche entera. Nunca te he dado todo lo que esperabas, y no estaba cuando me necesitabas… tal vez no te escuche, tal vez te descuide… tal vez se me olvido que yo te amaba… tal vez."
"Y yo por mi parte propongo intentarlo de nuevo… volver a empezar. Que por mas que lo pienso no encuentro una sola razón para seguir sin ti."
(Literal title translation: "Perhaps." Guy's telling his girl "Yo... ok, perhaps it was my fault. Perhaps I didn't give you an entire night. Perhaps I never gave you what you wanted... and I wasn't there when you needed me... perhaps I didn't listen to you... perhaps I didn't take care of you... perhaps I forgot that I loved you... but hey, we can try again! 'cause baby, I can't find a reason to be without you." Yeah... and perhaps Ricky Martin is gay. [NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! That right there is the sound of my little heart breaking. I love you, Ricky Martin, gay or straight... or bi!])

Te Llame – Cristian Castro
"Te llame porque no aguanto mi tristeza y no puedo soportar tanto dolor… porque nadie va borrar toda la huella que dejaste con tu amor."
"Te llame porque la vida es una sola… y en la mía esta faltando tu calor."
(You know that one person who would always fucking call you to say the stupidest shit like "Baby, I love you." or "Hi. What are you doing?" Well, this guy broke up with his chick and he can't break the habit. He calls her to let her know that he can't get over her... that he misses her... and that you only live life once, and she's missing in his. How cute. Although, if it were my case, I'd probably reply with "How many fucking times have I told you not to call me at this fucking time of the day?! And to say that shit? Fuck you, go to bed!" And maybe that's why I'm destined to become a spinster)

This is probably the second to last post regarding this topic... then, NEVER again (not that I hate it or anything, but it's so time consuming to come up with such a long list! Although, today's choices were full of great songs that make me smile bitterly to myself)!

Now, if you don't mind, I must go away and sulk...
Why didn't high school boys check me out when I was in high school?!

Para Llorar, Vol. 3

Ok... so in honor... of it being hump day... and that today's a very important day for the Dos Santos clan's pocket... here's part 3 of my
List of SAD Spanish Songs:
(Yep, still same rules)

Hey- Julio iglesias
"Yo se que a ti te gusta presumir. Que a tus amigos les dices que sin ti no podré vivir."
"Ya vez, tu nunca me haz querido, ya lo vez. Que nunca he sido tuyo ya lo se. Fue solo por orgullo ese querer."
"Es siempre mas feliz quien mas amo… y ese siempre fui yo."
(I never thought I'd have one of his songs as a favorite, but this song's pretty badass. Just your usual upset dumpee, who basically tells his girl "Yo, I knew you never loved me, I know you told everyone that you had me wrapped around your finger, but guess what! I was happy that way!" No, wait, what?)

La Muerte Del Palomo - Rocio Durcal (I really like Yuridia's version)
"Solito quedo el palomo, ahogándose entre sollozos, pues ya no puede llorar."
"Pobrecito del palomo, cansado esta de sufrir… y mirando para el cielo, a Dios le pide su muerte, que así no quiere vivir."
"En llorar, en llorar, en llorar. Desde que te fuiste se le fue al palomo en puro llorar. Por llorar, por llorar, por llorar ya no puede ver, ni puede volar. Se acerca su muerta, esta agonizando de tanto esperar. Morirá, morirá, ¡morirá! Morirá el palomo porque así es la muerte cuando ay soledad. Mirara hacia al cielo, te vera volando, te dará las gracias por esos recuerdos. Y al cruzar las alas que te cobijaron ahogara en sus sueños que no despertaron."
(So, what do I like in songs? Metaphors. What do I like more than metaphorically infused songs? Songs where the metaphors are about birds! Ok, I'll admit, in that damn Notebook movie, I cried in the end ONLY because of the bird thing... but in my defense, I've had that bird issue since childhood. OK?! Anyway, this song is about a "bird" and how he's miserable after his whore partner leaves him. Now all he does is cry. He can't fly, can't see, can't be a damn bird because he's too damn sick and tired from crying all the time. I know I'm not the only person out there who has cried so much, to the point where her eyes are almost swollen shut... right? Maybe? That's what I thought)

La Otra – Benny Ibarra
"Es otra piel la que acelera mis latidos. Es otra mi inquietud. Es la otra, no eres tu."
(Bastard of a song! There are more lyrics, but they make me so furious! Basically, it's a duet between a man and his wife. She's pleading with him that although she knows he has a mistress, to please stay with her and the kids... in their "nest" [bird reference again!]. What is his response? "Bitch, get out da way!" Actually, I'd take that way before the bitch crap he says... so harsh... "It's anothers skin that accelerates my heart-beats... it's 'the other one,' not you." Well... you motherfucker... ::elbow to the mouth:: hope that makes your fucking heart skip a beat... bitch! Hey, I never said the sad song had to make me docile and teary-eyed...)

**Me Da Igual – Camila
"No me importa donde estas, con quien sales, con quien vas. Ya me da igual."
"Si no quieres verme más, hazte a un lado, pero ya no me dañes mas."
"Tanto tiempo te espere, tantas noches te soñé. Solo en sueños te bese y en tus labios me quede."
"En cambio tu apagas mi luz sin mirar atrás."
"Hoy yo lo que quiero es despertar y borrar todo lo que fui… pensando que serias para mi."
"Me cuesta tanto asimilar que todo lo que vi es real… me tengo que alejar. Siento ganas de llorar, no lo puedo soportar… me cuesta respirar."
(Ok... so I really like all the lyrics in this one. Bascially, this guy is telling the girl "Do whatever the hell you'd like, I don't give a damn... just get the hell away from me." I love this song... mucho... especialmente por algunas cosillas que he pasado ultimamente)

Mediodía – Café Tacaba
"Parece mentira, que entre tanta gente en esta ciudad no tenga a nadie con quien compartir la vista desde mi casa este Sábado al mediodía."
(This song is absolutely lovely. Makes me smile bitterly. This guy's describing the scenery from his balcony one Saturday afternoon in Mexico City... it's vivid and he really does take you there with only words... then he laments not having anyone in this huge city to share such a wonderful sight. Sigh. Yes, there are plenty of people like you, señor)

*Mientes Tan Bien - Sin Bandera
"Que te quedaras conmigo una vida entera; Que contigo, adiós invierno solo primavera; Que las olas son de magia, no de agua salada... Yo te creo todo, y tu no me das nada."
"Que si sigo tu camino llegare hasta el cielo. Tú me mientes en la cara y yo me vuelvo ciego. Yo me trago tus palabras, tú juegas un juego… y me brilla el mundo cuando dices 'luego.' Cuando dices 'siento,' siento que eres todo, cuando dices 'vida, yo estaré contigo.' Me tomas de mi mano, y por dentro lloro. Aunque sea mentira, me haces sentir vivo. Aunque es falso el aire, siento que respiro."
"Mientes tan bien, que me sabe a verdad todo lo que me das. Y ya te estoy amando. Mientes tan bien, que he llegado a imaginar que de mi amor llenas tu piel. Y aunque todo es de papel, mientes tan bien."
"Y aunque todo es de papel, mientes… lo se."
(This guy's telling his girl that he knows she's a liar... and that's she pretty damn good at it [he gives lovely examples, like the line that says something like "Even if it's false air, I feel that I breathe." Sounds way better in Spanish]. And while he knows she lies, he still believes her. Dumbass. But I'm sure we've all been there, done that when we meet someone we really like... that we convince ourselves that maybe they're... not lying.)

No Sirve De Nada – Ricardo Arjona
"Descubrí… el llanto que escondes de tras de esa sonrisa de casting barato."
"Y ¿de que me sirve? No sirve de nada."
(Another lovely angry tune. I like the first lyric because I too give off a "cheap casting smile" when I'm upset. Anyway, this is sort of a cynical song... point of it being that everything he gets from her "Isn't worth a damn." "It doesn't serve me any damn purpose.")

**No Volveré - Various Artists (I enjoy Cristian Castro)
"Cuando lejos te encuentres de mi, cuando quieras que este yo contigo, no hallaras ni un recuerdo de mi ni tendrás mas amores conmigo."
"Yo te juro que no volveré aunque me haga pedazos la vida."
"Si una vez con locura te ame, ya de mi alma estarás despedida."
"No volveré, te lo juro por dios que me mira. Te lo digo llorando de rabia: ¡No volveré!"
"No parare hasta ver que mi llanto a formado un arrollo de olvido anegado, donde yo tu recuerdo ahogare."
"Fuimos nubes que el viento aparto. Fuimos piedras que siempre chocaron. Gotas de agua que el sol reseco. Borracheras que no terminaron."
"En el tren de la ausencia de hoy, mi boleto no tiene regreso. Lo que tengas de mi te lo doy, pero yo te devuelvo tus besos."
(Song so freaking great, that it serves as my ringtone. It's one of the best "Angry Mexican Macho" songs out there [of course, girls have taken to singing this, especially when they're pretty PO'ed at a guy for being a douche]. I mean, if a dude told me this, I would bawl my eyes out for a couple of weeks. Basically, the guy is telling the girl he's never coming back, then he goes off and tells her how he's going to forget her [he's pretty mean]. My favorite line, which is underlined, mentions how he won't stop in his efforts until he sees his tears have formed an overflowing river in which he will drown the girl's memory. I mean, come on... how often do you hear something like that being said? The guy was PISSED and injured in his macho pride when he wrote this! I love it!)

Nube Viajera – Alejandro Fernández
"¿Donde estas? ¿Que cielo cruzas sin extrañarme, nube perdida? ¿Por que no vienes a iluminarme?, luz de mi vida. Regresa pronto que yo no vivo si no es por ti."
"¿Donde estas? Detén tu vuelo y vuelve a casa nube viajera. Por una sola de tus caricias todo lo diera aunque volvieras de nuevo a irte lejos de mi."
(Yep, you guessed it, METAPHORS! Haha. He's calling the chick a "cloud" since she comes and goes like one. I love it for the words... but, especially since this guy's voice is so hot. )

Para Que Me Quieras Como Quiero – Ricardo Arjona
"Podría dibujar, a cien años luz, la mueca que pintas cuando llegas."
"Podría caminar en el fuego para que me quieras como quiero."
"Pero soy el cero en tu izquierda, tu coartada. Tu fusible siempre en reserva. No tengo nada. Quiero ser el truco en tus trampas. Quitarme el miedo, jugar tu juego, hacer lo que no puedo, para que me quieras como quiero."
"Podría soportar la calamidad de ser el juguete de tu juego."
"Te quiero como quieres, me quieres como puedes-- no quiero seguir queriendo así."
(So this song rocks. Point of it is the guy likes the girl more than she likes him, and he's suggesting things he could do for that to change, you know, be a little more equal)

I'm almost done with this list! I will have to get it done by the end of the month... you know... since it's February... and I don't want to drag this into the best month of the year: March!
That would just be depressing.
(And talk about depressing: I still don't have water at my house!!!)

I jinxed it

Shit.

We're definitely living in Mexico right now.

We have no water now.

?!?!?

Fuck.

The boiler busted... our garage was about two inches deep in water... the treadmill was unharmed (damn it! J/k. I love my treadmill)... the garage smells like wet Vegas street... WE HAVE NO FUCKING WATER!

Screw this whole "no cussing" deal.
What the fuck is this?
Why don't we just go live in a damn cave already.
FUCKKKK!

One thing's for certain, I'm prepared for this summer's Mexico trip.
I'll be a fucking pro whenever the lights go out... and shit, I'll know how to handle those days where we have no damn running water.

This sucks.

Para Llorar, Vol. 2

In honor of President's Day (it is President's Day.... right? I lose track of time now that I'm out of school. I don't like it one bit!) let's continue with my
List of SAD Spanish Songs:
(Same rules as in volume 1 apply)

Amar y Querer - José José
"Casi todos sabemos querer, pero pocos sabemos amar. Es que amar y querer no es igual. Amar es sufrir, querer es gozar."
"El que quiere pretende vivir, y nunca sufrir… y nunca sufrir."
"El que ama no puede pensar, todo lo da… todo lo da. El que quiere pretende olvidar y nunca llorar… y nunca llorar. El querer pronto puede acabar… el amor no conoce el final."
(This one hurts because it helps differentiate between those who simply "like/lust" over those who "love," giving examples between people who "like" and those who "love." People that "love" end up losing. It makes me watery-eyed each time I hear it. Damn José José and his sad ballads)

**Casi Un Bolero – Ricky Martin
"Suenan las campanas de mi mente… que tristemente suenan por mi."
"La tristeza que te canto se la va llevando el viento."
"Pongo tu foto sobre mi piel… suena en mi corazón, casi un bolero."
(This song is italicized because, while the lyrics manage to make me frown a little, the music is mainly what makes me want to wail. It's... just... a fantastic orchestral arrangement. Even if you don't know Spanish, the music will get you to frown, at least. The song just talks about a lonely guy, I guess he too has lost his lover, and how everything reminds him of her. So in his heart, he sort of hears a bolero, and he sings along to it. Ah yes, the latin man, such a romatic when he's not too busy bossing the wife around or making her crank out babies... bitter much? Hell. Yes.)

*Cielo Rojo - Various Artists (The song is so popular, many artists have taken to sining it. My personal favorites include Alejandro Fernandez, Luis Miguel, and Pepe Aguilar)
"Solo sin tu cariño voy caminando, voy caminando y no se que hacer. Ni el cielo me contesta cuando pregunto por ti, mi bien.
No eh podido olvidarte desde la noche, desde la noche en que te perdí. Sombras de duda y celos solo me envuelven pensando en ti."
"Deja que yo te busque y si te encuentro, y si te encuentro vuelve otra vez. Olvida lo pasado, ya no te acuerdes de aquel ayer."
"Mientras yo estoy dormido, sueño que vamos los dos muy juntos a un cielo azul. Pero cuando despierto, mi cielo es rojo... me faltas tu."
"Y aunque yo sea culpable de aquella triste, de aquella triste separación, vuelve por dios tus ojos, vuelve a quererme, vuelve mi amor."
(So this guy admits to f'ing up in the relationship. He's asking her to come back. He even mentions how he dreams that he's walking along with the girl towards a blue sky, but when he wakes, the sky is red and she's missing. Poor lovelorn man... I would probably take a dude back if he said this kind of stuff to me though, I'm weak like that)

**Donde Estará Mi Primavera?** - Marco Antonio Solís
"Yo te debo tanto, tanto amor que ahora te regalo mi resignación. Se que tu me amaste, yo pude sentirlo. Quiero descansar en tu perdón.
Voy hacer de cuenta que nunca te fuiste, que haz ido de viaje y nada más.
Y con tu recuerdo, cuando este muy triste, le haré compañía a mi soledad."
"Quiero que mi ausencia sean las grandes alas con las que tu puedas emprender ese vuelo largo de tantas escalas, y en alguna me puedas perder."
"Yo aquí entre la nada voy hablar de todo, buscare a mi modo continuar.
Y hasta que los años cierren mi memoria, no me dejare de preguntar:
¿Donde estará mi primavera? ¿Donde se me a escondido el sol? Que mi jardín olvido, y el alma me marchito."
(This song should come with a warning! I can't even read the lyrics without getting choked up. I've come to get sentimental with this song when I think of guys... but especially when I think of those who have departed, like my grandma and now grandpa. The lyrics that mention how one won't think that the other has "left," but instead "gone on a trip" get me because that's exactly how I got over my grandmother's passing when I was 11. I've confused myself into believing she's in Mexico... and when I go to Mexico, I act like she's here in Vegas. Anyway, this song is underlined because it's one of my top 3 songs EVER. As much as I hate to admit it--because I hate being sentimental around others-- this song describes my feelings with sheer perfection. There are just days when I ask myself, and tell myself, these things. Basically, this depressed person is asking himself where his sunshine, his spring has gone... since he feels forgotten, neglected to the point where his "garden" AKA soul was forgotten and wilted. The words are too deep and beautiful to be translated properly into English. Now I'm sad.)


*Échame A Mi La Culpa - Various Artists (I like Pepe Aguilar's version)
"Sabes mejor que nadie que me fallaste. Que lo que prometiste se te olvido. Sabes a ciencia cierta que me engañaste aunque nadie te amara igual que yo."
"Lleno estoy de razones para despreciarte, y sin embargo quiero que seas feliz. Que aya en el otro mundo de en vez de infierno encuentres gloria, y que una nube de tu memoria me borre a mi."
"Dile al que te pregunte que no te quise. Dile que te engañaba, que fui lo peor. Échame a mi la culpa de lo que pase."
"Cúbrete tu la espalda con mi dolor."
(ALL the lyrics in this song cut me. Basically, he is letting his now-ex know that while she did him wrong by lying, cheating and forgetting all her promises, he still wishes her happiness here and in the "other world." He then goes as far as giving her permission to tell everyone that HE was horrible, that he would cheat on her, that he never loved her, that he was the worst. Basically, to place all blame on him. To cover her back with his pain. What a noble man, don't you think? And what a little bitch of the female if she really did go off and listen to her injured lover)

**El Me Mintió - Amanda Miguel (I love how Yuridia sings it)
"El me mintió. El me dijo que me amaba y no era verdad."
"El me mintió. No me amaba. Nunca me amo."
"El dejo que lo adorara. El me mintió, el me mintió. Era un juego y nada más. Era solo un juego cruel de su vanidad. El me mintió."
"Con el corazón destrozado y el rostro mojado, soy tan desdichada ¡quisiera morirme!"
"Mentira, ¡todo era mentira! Palabras al viento… tan solo un capricho que el niño tenía."
"De todo el amor que juraba, ¡jamas hubo nada! Yo fui solamente otra más que lo amaba."
"Mentira, ¡todo era mentira! Los besos, las rosas, las falsas caricias que me estremecían."
"Señor que tu estas en los cielos, tu que eres tan bueno, que no quede huella en mi piel de sus dedos."
(Fuck. Give me a second...
Ok...
This song's AWESOME for any girl who has been LIED TO [which would be... all of us, right?]. Basically, she finds out the dude was just lying to her. Using her. Like she was some new game for the little boy. Poor chick. While the dude knew she was falling for him, he did nothing to stop her. So now, she's just asking God to please erase all memory of him. Great song, especially each time a chick sings this, she's usually screaming and totally losing it, you know, how we all react when we find out we've been used. Now, each time I hear this, I think of poor Yuridia, and how ironically this sort of fits her situation)

En Ausencia De Ti - Laura Pausini
"Yo, como un árbol, desnuda estoy sin ti. Mis raíces se secaran, abandonada así."
(There are more lyrics, trust me, but... I'm so tired of looking [and you of reading, I'm sure]. This lyric's just one that I strongly fancy. I don't know, I have a thing for songs that use lots of metaphors. Basically, this is a very lonely girl that laments losing her guy)

Esa Noche – Café Tacuba
"No me hubieras dejado esa noche, porque esa misma noche encontré un amor. Parecía que estaba esperando tu momento de partir. Parecía haber observado, mis momentos junto a ti."
"Me abrazo el instante mismo, que tu me dijiste adiós, y no fue una gran tristeza. Fue como ir de menor a mayor."
"Tu regreso había esperado, más te veía muy feliz en los brazos de tu amada, te olvidaste tú de mí. Es ahora que recuerdas, a mis brazos vuelves ya. Seré por siempre tu amante, tu novia: la soledad."
"Si alguna vez regresas con aquella que te amo, sabes, no será lo mismo, pues también me conoció."
"Mi soledad, siempre eh pertenecido a ti."
(Funny, since I really do know a girl named Soledad. Anyway, these guys are pretty witty [hence why I love them so] and manage to make the lsitener believe this song's about a guy who finds another girl immediately after getting dumped by his chick. You start to think "What a prick! He was probably seeing another girl while being with this one that dumped him!" Towards the end, you find out this new "girl" is actually "loneliness" [English term for "Soledad," which in Spanish is also a female's name]. So, this guy's LONELY! Nice job, Cafe Tacuba! They sort of end it by saying that if he does get back with the chick that dumped him, it won't be the same, because she too got to know this so called "soledad," e.g. she too was lonely! Aw, tugs on your heart strings, right?)

Esta Triste Guitarra – Emmanuel or Pepe Aguilar
"Esta triste guitarra que suena y suena sola en la noche, es mi voz que te dice 'No me abandones, no me abandones.' "
(Once again, there are more lovely lyrics in this one, but I like this one most.This guy is giving his ex a nice serenade and he makes a metaphor [see, I love this device!] between his voice and the sound of the guitar. He's telling her to please not abandon him, and hopefully, each time she hears a guitar, she'll think of him. I wonder if that would work with metal... like... "Think of me when you play 'Raining Blood' by Slayer")

*Fuego De Noche, Nieve de Día - Ricky Martin
"Antes de que empiece a amanecer y vuelvas a tu vida habitual, debes comprender que entre los dos todo a sido puro y natural."
"Tu loca manía ha sido mía solo una vez. Dulce ironía: fuego de noche, nieve de día."
"Luces tu sonrisa mas normal; blanca, pero fría como nieve."
"Y mientras yo me quedo sin ti como un huracán, rabioso y febril. Tanta pasión, tanta osadía."
"Noche a noche en blanco sin dormir, ardo entre los pliegues de mi cama. Se que estas a punto de venir, pero solo viene la mañana."
(We all know I love this song. Each time I hear it being played, I stop dead in my tracks to listen. Anyway, this poor guy has the luck of loving a girl who is taken... and she might be a little crazy... or just really detached. He's only had her once... but he wants her again, so bad [poor Ricky]. She... well, she's just... a lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed, who scars men by only having one night stands with them and then wanting nothing to do with the fellas afterwards. In other words: My hero. J/k! All kidding aside, it's just about a guy who will never again have that one girl, so he yearns for her each night.)

Those 10 songs will do for part 2.
Happy Prez Day... I think that's what today is.

Para Llorar, Vol.1

The frequency with which I am asked this question has made me finally agree to answering it on this blog (Today alone, I was asked 4 times!).

"Give me a list of the saddest Spanish music ever!"
You sure, buddy?
'cause... uh... Spanish musicians really know how to cut you deep when they're bummin'.

But I guess... since it's Valentine's and everything... and my earlier post was so angry, I'll post part one of my... maybe 8 parts of:
"List of SAD Spanish songs"
(in somewhat-alphabetical order. The better part of the lyrics are shown. Bold italics are lines that cut ME pretty deep. Might not happen to you, but dude, I read that and it makes me weep inside regardless of how jubilant I may be at that moment. I also add a little shpeel on why I dig the song. Starred titles are especially recommended)


*A La Primera Persona- Alejandro Sanz
"A la primera persona que me ayude a comprender, pienso entregarle mi tiempo, pienso entregarle mi fe.
Yo no pido que las cosas me salgan siempre bien, pero es que ya estoy harto de perderte sin querer."
"A la primera persona que me ayude a salir de este infierno en el que yo mismo decidí vivir,
Le regalo cualquier tarde para los dos,"
"A la primera persona que me ayude a sentir otra vez, pienso entregarle mi vida, pienso entregarle mi fe. Aunque si no eres la persona que soñaba para mi ¿que voy hacer? Nada."
"Aunque lo diga la gente, yo no lo quiero escuchar. No hay mas miedo que el que se siente cuando ya no sientes nada."
"A la primera persona que me ayude a caminar, pienso entregarle mi tiempo, pienso entregarle hasta el mar."
"Yo no digo que sea fácil niña, pero ahora mismo ya no tengo ni siquiera donde estar."
"Es que amar en soledad es como un pozo sin fondo donde no existe ni dios, donde no existen verdades."
"A la primera persona que no me quiera juzgar, pienso entregarle caricias que yo tenia guardadas."
(Alejandro's voice adds to the melancholy felt throughout this song. Seriously... "If you're not the person of my dreams, what am I going to do? Nothing." Good stuff for those disillusioned by love... who just say "Fuck it. First person who comes around and shows me that life will be OK, will be the person I give my love to. No more of this daydreaming nonsense!")

A Ti – Ricardo Arjona
"A ti que juegas a ganarme aunque sabes bien que lo eh perdido todo."
"A ti, te estoy hablando a ti aunque te valga madre lo que estoy diciendo."
"A ti, que por despecho estas pensando hasta con los pies. A ti que me dejaste solo, incluso, cuando estabas en mi compañía."
"A ti que te gusta ir de mártir repartiendo culpas que son solo tuyas."
('cause we all have that "martyr" of an ex who actually... pretty much sucked the life out of you. Plus... this man throws puns around like he would pennies. Fantastic!)

*Ahora Quien – Marc Anthony
"¿Ahora quien?, si no soy yo. Me miro y lloro en el espejo, y me siento estupido, ilógico... Y luego te imagino, toda, regalando el olor de tu piel, tus besos, tu sonrisa eterna, y hasta el alma en un beso, en un beso va el alma, y en mi alma esta el beso que pudo ser."
(Best lyrics he has ever created. This song is so raw... imagining a man crying and feeling stupid as he stands in front of a mirror even makes me want to cry. Song's about a man whose girlfriend/wife has moved on, and now, he is pained by imagining his loved one being loved by another man. Powerful stuff)

Acá Entre Nos - Banda El Recodo
"Les platique que me encontré con otro amor, y que en sus brazos fui dejando de quererte.
Que te aborrezco desde el día de tu traición. Y que hay momentos que he deseado hasta tu muerte."
"Acá entre nos, quiero que sepas la verdad:
No te he dejado de adorar. Allá en mi triste soledad me han dado ganas de gritar, salir corriendo, y preguntar que es lo que ha sido de tu vida."
"Acá entre nos, siempre te voy a recordar. Y hoy que a mi lado ya no estas, no queda mas confesar que ya no puedo soportar, que estoy odiando sin odiar, porque respiro por la herida."
(Awesome song to get wasted to in case a significant other ever did you wrong. You make others believe you're over him/her, that you even hate the bastard/bitch, but it's all an act. Deep down inside, you just want to run back to them. Hell. Yes. Mexican machos at their best)

*Esta Tristeza Mía – El Coyote de Sinaloa
"Esta tristeza mía, este dolor tan grande, los llevo muy profundos, pues me han dejado solo en el mundo."
"Ya ni llorar es bueno, cuando no hay esperanza. Ya ni el vino mitiga las penas amargas que a mi me matan."
"Yo no se que será de mi suerte, que de mi no se acuerda ni Dios."
(This big man's voice makes me cry... especially when there's a slight buzz going on... and often, I'll bust into song when I hear it at weddings, sweet 15's, baptisms, etc. Anyway, it's particularly sad because he's crying over how lonely he is... at one point mentioning that not even God thinks of him :( Sad thought )

Besando La Cruz - ??
"¿De que sirve querer con todo el corazón? ¿De que sirve cumplir el deber, respetando un amor?"
"Para mi solo eras tú, no hubo nadie jamás. Eras todo para mi, y besando la cruz te lo puedo jurar."
"Eras el sol, y eras la luz, que me alumbro. Oscuridad hoy eres tú por tu traición."
"Me voy lejos de aquí, donde pueda olvidar. ¿De que sirve llorar, si tu amor ya perdi, y no en cuentro la paz?"
(I have no clue who sings this... but... it's depressing. Another disillusioned soul who laments a cheating bitch. He's upset he was stupid enough to love someone with all his heart, and remain faithful, while she--his sun, his light-- cheated on him and left him in the dark. Don't we all, buddy?)

**Mi Destino Fue Quererte - Flor Silvestre
"¡Ay! que suerte tan negra y tirana es la mía al haberte encontrado a mi paso una vez. Tan feliz y contenta que sin ti vivía, cuando yo ni siquiera en tu nombre soñé."
"Hasta que una mañana fatal de mi vida el destino te enviara mi suerte a cambiar. Al instante sentí que tu imagen querida ya jamás de mi mente se habría de borrar."
"Tiempo aquél tan alegre de mi primavera, cuando ni una tristeza mi dicha turbó.
Cuántos años pasaron, cual dulce quimera, cuando ni un desengaño mi vida pasó."
"Que destino fatal me persigue y me guía, y encamina mi senda a donde hallé el dolor. Si el amarte es tan sólo continua agonía, yo maldigo a la vida, maldigo el amor."
"Yo no sé qué misterio se encierra en tu vida, que jamás he podido tu amor comprender.
Yo ya tengo mi fe y mi esperanza perdida, aunque jures mil veces que me has de querer."
"¿Para qué me creí de tus besos de fuego? ¿Para qué me creí de tus besos de amor?
Si en tus labios me diste el veneno malevo, yo maldigo mi suerte y maldigo tu amor."
(Dude! Where to begin! This one... it's... whoa. Poor girl makes you so damn sad! And it makes you want to go out and kill the bastard who upset her so much. Bascially, she's retelling how her life was so happy and innocent in the past, until she met the lying bastard who managed to get so deep in her heart... then plays her. Now she's damning love, and life itself, for having such horrible luck of bumping into this one douche who messed her up good)

*Algo De Mi - Camilo Sesto
"Mi voz se quiebra cuando te llamo, y tu nombre se vuelve hiedra... que me abraza, y entre sus ramas ella esconde mi tristeza."
"Algo de mi, algo de mi, algo de mi se va muriendo. ¡Quiero vivir! ¡Quiero vivir! Saber porque te vas, amor."
(... He makes me sad. Basically, this man gets left by his chick... so he feels like part of him is dying... yet he wants to live. It's so sad to me... I just imagine a dude who is slowly dying while saying "But I want to live!!!" Life's not fair.)

*Te Sigo Amando – Juan Gabriel (Roció Durcal’s version is wonderful as well)
"Que seas muy feliz, estés donde estés cariño. No me importa que ya no vuelvas jamás conmigo."
"Deseo, mi amor, que sepas también que te amo. Que no te olvide, que nunca podré… te extraño..."
"Que seas muy feliz, que encuentres amor, mi vida. Que nunca mi amor, te digan adiós un día."
"Perdóname mi amor por todo el tiempo que te ame te hice daño.... te amé de mas y fue mi error; que soledad, estoy sin ti, lo estoy pagando."
"Que seas muy feliz, que seas muy feliz… mientras que yo te sigo amando..."
(Person admits fault in the deterioration of the relationship: He/she loved his/her partner too much and that was just... suffocating. Now that they're broken up, the person only wishes his/her significant other all these wonderful things... but he/she will still love him/her. That's what gets me the most, 'cause... I'm very much like that, much to my disgust [I'm a well-wisher, not the suffocating partner]. Musical arrangement is beautiful as well, especially Roció Durcal's version)

Almohada - José José
"Amor como el nuestro no hay dos en la vida. Por mas que se busque, por mas que se esconda."
"Por eso te quiero, por eso te adoro. Eres en mi vida todo mi tesoro."
"A veces regreso borracho de angustia. Te lleno de besos y caricias mustias, pero estas dormida…no sientes caricias. Te abrazo a mi pecho, me duermo contigo… mas luego despierto… tu no estas conmigo, solo esta mi almohada."
"A veces te miro callada y ausente, y sufro en silencio como tanta gente."
"Quisiera gritarte que ¡vuelvas conmigo! Que si aun estoy vivo, solo es para amarte."
"Pero todo pasa… y a los sufrimientos, como a las palabras, se las lleva el viento."
(I picture a drunken man walking in on his sleeping wife. In his drunken stupor, he thinks he's kissing her and whatnot, then he wakes up to realize she's not there... he was only making out with his pillow. Poor broken man. Supposedly it's about a couple, where the female is so docile and submissive, that she eventually turns cold and abandons the lovesick man.
I still think she leaves him for being a drunk. Nonetheless, it teaches you the plight of a man whose wife is a tad bit too submissive... I should probably take this as a cautionary tale of my future. Watch yo self, AnoMALIE... don't be submissive enough to make your future man caress and make-out with his pillow that he mistakes for your cold, heartless body!)

Ten songs to Part I should suffice.
Part II will come eventually.

Hey AnoMALIE!

How do you feel about not having electricity for 12 hours?
How do you feel about having such retarded-ass cousins?
How do you feel about it being Valentines day?

Are you fucking shitting me??

First off, the electricity thing... that was... interesting. Make do with what you got... good thing I'm such a candle fanatic.
Drawing under candle-light's kind of fun... since anything else under candle-light is pretty lame.

Second,
I hereby divorce myself from such a fucking imbecilic paternal side of the family.
They're stupid ass motherfuckers that... have no fucking brain whatsoever... they talk out of their ass... then get my siblings and I in trouble. They wait for one of us to trip so they can be quick to pounce. Not cool... especially since we supposedly share blood (they ain't got any! And if they do... they think it's that damn Horseshoe Crab "blue blood").
Fucking idiots.... who, I don't give a shit that they're 2 IQ points away from being considered retarded, I want nothing to do with anymore.
Myspace is called "A place for friends," and I have it on private for a goddamn reason. I DO NOT want my parents seeing it... hearing about it... and much less YOUR parents seeing or hearing about it.
FUCK. YOU.

Third,
I got nothing.
Valentine's Day is kinda fun... especially when you have a "hot date" and I've told off Obnoious Guy.
Pretty cool.
(Plus, this day brings back some awesome childhood memories of those cool Valentine's Day class parties.... where I was pretty damn popular... and all we did was eat red/pink/heart-shaped sugar-containing stuff.)

Mi Boca

Of all the powers in the world, I was given one of the lamest.

What is my power?

I make people lust after whatever I put in my mouth.

Haha.

No, seriously.
Instead of serving as a cautionary tale to people ("Do you wanna end up looking like this?! Well, then don't eat the garbage she's eating!!"), I tend to make people crave whatever it is that I'm eating.
Not only does the CPK story serve as a good example, but today, I was given more proof of this ability of mine.

I went to work with Mom because Bambi had to go get an oil check/15k mile service/poly-whatever-it-is-that-makes-her-pretty-and-shiny.
Well, as we waited for the dealership to finish up with Bambi, I sat at work watching a couple of lame-o Mexican soap operas with Mom (we call this "working").
I first opened a small bag of regular chips... and grabbed one of the many ketchup packets we keep near the coffee jar (bus drivers are strange... they know how to use the left-over fast-food ketchup packets on God knows what). While I'm not much of a ketchup fan, I really do like eating regular chips with a streak of ketchup on top (it's soooo good!).
Anyway, this one bus driver walked in, grabbed a water bottle, and as he was paying, looked over at me. Right when he was going to leave, he reached over for some chips and paid for them... then he grabbed a ketchup packet (HA-HA! I told you! He'll be eternally grateful to me after he has that first chip).

Ok... maybe it's just... luck... or maybe he was really, really hungry.

Then came this one lady who was buying cigarettes.
By this time, I was eating a "Bit-O-Honey" while complaining of Marlene Favela's inability to act ("Duuuude! Why must the ONE chick from the same place in Mexico as us be such a crappy actress! Look at that! What a monotone! She only gets jobs because of her boobs! Nobody cares what you sound like anymore!").
The lady asked for a packet of... I think she wanted Kools. She looked around (because what was going on the screen was a graphic make-out session between Monotone Favela and some old man who thinks he's still sexy) then went straight for a pack of Bit-O-Honey.

Victima numero dos!

I had been sitting around work since 2 in the afternoon... by 4 PM I was irritable (you try hanging out at a gas station--for buses, so I guess it's a diesel station-- for more than thirty minutes!).
I asked mom for a packet of M&M's and made myself comfortable with the two seats Mom has located in front of the television (a bar stool and a small "futuristic" chair that makes you relax real nice when you lean back). A little like this:
While I sometimes felt embarrassed when the younger bus drivers walked in to see me splayed out like that... sometimes with my arms over my head like some stripper... I didn't move from my position.
Well, the one bus driver I'm a little fond of--he makes me laugh, ok?-- walked in.
He joked a little about me sitting the way that I was, talked about his day at court, then he grabbed a soda.
"Ok... ok! You convinced me... I'll have some of those," he said.
Wha... ??
"You know, you have a real sales person sitting right there," he told Mom as he pointed at me.
Mom got him a pack of M&M's and I gave him a thumbs up.

What ever will I do with this newly-discovered power of mine?

P.S. Fuck, I have some fucking retarded relatives! TravelinDin... ummm... Dad is adamant about seeing your Spain pictures. Why? Because idiot Sin Tia told him to "Just go to Mai-Espeis and you'll see her pictures."
Umm... it's advisable to change the captions to some of those pictures... i.e. "I think we were drunk." You know... just a suggestion... since he's all... hardcore fundamentalist Christian right now.
X(
Also... that one picture of your nose ring...
For some reason... I think la pendeja de Sin Tia told Dad you were either 1) partying too hard or 2) got a nose ring...
Either way... I'm trying my hardest to give him excuses of why I can't see your pictures...
So... umm... change your shit 'cause I can only hold him off for so long... and he's starting to grow increasingly disgruntled.
Uh-oh...